Renewed!

 The last big accomplishment for May 12. Karin and I made a quick little trip out to the Magic Kingdom. Oh yes, one of Roger's favorite hangouts.  

I think he liked Main St. USA because he was an old soul. He was not a fan of change, although he adapted when he had to.  I came to realize that this family loves our Disney passes and we have spent lots of great times together at WDW over the years.  I guess Disney is just in our blood, so it just made sense to go ahead and renew my pass. It was hard to do though.

Pass renewal was something we ALWAYS did together. We did it on our anniversary every year. Roger did not care about 'stuff' and I grew weary of collecting things that needed dusting, so passes were a perfect solution to that gift dilemma. We gave each other Disney Passes for our Anniversary for so many years, I have forgotten how long. 

The young cast member at Guest Services was so cheerful and helpful that it made the process very easy. I was so afraid it was going to be a tearful transaction.  

Karin is so much like her daddy that it was really fun to be with her tonight. She picks up on the most subtle things that he would always do. Things that I did not think about too much, maybe because he did them so much! It was fun to laugh about everything from how to navigate a crowd to how to get to a dinner place and divide and conquer in order to get the table you wanted. We had dinner in one of his favorite places. She even ate mayo with her meal, just so things would feel normal for me.  Ugh....I could not do that. Sorry, Roger! 

By the time we returned home, I was fairly well exhausted. It was a long day, it was an exhausting day, but it was a very good day.

Roger's Lesson: He would tell me that things are generally better when you have a plan. Today's plan worked!

And I felt his presence throughout the day. And that was a very good thing. 
Thank you prayer warriors! I could not have done this alone! 

Never say Goodbye....Pan

There is a full moon tonight. I always loved the full moon because I could look outdoors at midnight or in the wee hours before daybreak and enjoy the wonderful shadows from the magnificent Camphor tree that were cast on the lawn. It must be the artists' eye...... no one else seemed to understand. 

Roger always said that the full moon always meant the crazies were out. I think that must be a fire department concept. He did seem to always come home with the craziest stories - and always after a full moon shift. I miss those reports. 

There was always one full moon that Roger loved though, and it was at Disney. When they did the reno on the Peter Pan ride, I think they changed up the moon - and he never enjoyed the new ride as much as the old one. In fact, Roger never enjoyed anything new as much as he enjoyed the older version. 

Not knowing exactly what this day would hold for me, I was especially thrilled that I had a really good team of friends who were offering up some extra prayer support today. I was not sure if I was going to cry all day, or just be safe and stay in bed all day, or just push through it all. I decided to just try my best to take it moment by moment. 

Starting out with an early morning visit to school was a good thing. I got to watch Jacob receive his prized award at the end of year assembly. I can not even believe that it is the end of another school year. By boy is growing up too too fast!   After dropping Emily, who is getting very long-legged all of a sudden, off at school, I headed for my chalk box. 

I was up to it. Art is always good therapy for me and the day was not too hot at 9 AM, so why not go sit on the sidewalk for a while? It was an interesting morning. I had all the supplies loaded up on the golf cart, and some on the sidewalk. It was swept clean and the surface was prepared for another layer of chalk.  The Mayor stopped to chat and told me about the recent happenings in DC. (I rarey watch TV news anymore. I pray for those running our country but I just don't even care about all the arguments any more - maybe I will later - I have a lot of faith in my Congressman and that is where I focus my prayer energies)   Over the course of the morning, several people stopped, either in cars or on golf carts, to see if I was ok. I was on the ground, after all. Not a normal sight. 

A couple of runners stopped and chatted and asked if they could take a photo. And two interesting ladies stopped, then returned at the end of my day, and then came back with cameras. This was quite the interesting morning, to be sure. I rarely talk to this many people in the course of a day, let alone a morning. It made me wonder if Roger was nearby, drawing these people in.  Crazy, right?  
Then one of the 'interesting' ladies started asking me a lot of questions, then told me that she talked to angels. And told me Roger was standing right behind me and she could see him.  Hello --- candid camera? Crazy tv show?  I am just a little too conservative for all of this stuff, but it did give me something to think about. 

I thought about Peter Pan and started to analyze why Pan was a fav of Roger's.  Maybe it was because he was forever young. Pan did not grow up. Roger did, but he was forever young.  Pan loved Wendy but she was not as adventurous as him. She knew that growing up was part of life. She loved him too, but she knew that she had to continue to grow. But she never forgot him.

Maybe I was the more serious one of our twosome. Logical. Practical. I hope I did not stop too much of his fun though. I don't think so. 

Peter Pan is an interesting story and it does not really line up with our theology at all, but it is a fun little fairytale and there is nothing wrong with that. We always had our green moon - not that it was green, but the lighting in that original Disney ride had a greenish tint as we flew around Big Ben and the Tower Bridge. That big ole moon reminded us that the world is big, but what is beyond the stars in the sky is so much bigger and so much more important. And ...it is not Neverland....it is Forever Land. 

Until now, I never ever thought that when Wendy remained at home and Pan was off to the stars....that it would be our story as well. Me at home - Roger off in Forever Land.   

But...Pan's quote -  " Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away, and going away means forgotten".......that spoke to me today. We always said "see you later" and not goodbye. And I will not say Goodbye now .....because even though he is away for the moment ....he will never be forgotten.   And the best part of our story is that one day I will also be where he is. 

In the light of eternity, I know that these days are only moments.  But thank goodness for Eternity and that Jesus gave me the opportunity to decide now to spend it with him. Yes, a decision that must be made before we draw that final breath. 

And Roger, well, that 'interesting lady' told me that she saw him standing behind me and he wanted me to talk to him. I have to admit, that I am not too prone to doing what people suggest to me, just because they suggest it.  I am more inclined to think about him and allow the tears to flow as they will. People offer up interesting ideas, and I guess that whatever gets you through the day in a healthy way is probably ok. (And yes, I saw "Ghost")  But just in case.....If you ever see me appearing to be talking to myself, don't put me in the home too quickly..who knows, maybe I will be talking to Roger.  

Roger's Lesson: I bet he would tell me that Forever Land (Eternity) is a whole lot better than Neverland and that while he loves and cares for those of us on earth, he also has some serious time to spend with His Savior. That is, after all, what who was living for. 

It may take me a while to make some sense of this day though! 
Ah....Art Therapy. It is always interesting! 

Sears Catalog? 41 years ago!

I will make it through this day because there is a team of prayer warriors  on duty for this challenge. I could not do this on my own. You don't think of 40 years as being all that long when you are together, but time has a whole new meaning when it becomes 41 and you are alone. 

In so many ways it seems like only yesterday that I met Roger.

God has these incredible ways to bring people together and though I was not really looking to "find" a special someone, there he was, right in the Sears Catalog. Ah...a story that people have been begging me to tell.  Actually, it is more accurate to say that he found me in the Sears Catalog, but let's be clear...I was not a mail order bride! 

The story begins nigh unto 42 years ago. I was a young college student just itching to make my way in the world by getting my first job. My dad was totally against it, instead saying that my school was my work and that I should focus. College, like it is today, had too many empty hours for me. Studying did not take all that long and there were so many hours in the day! What was a girl to do?

Well, of course, her Pastor knowing the dilemma, knew a church member who also happened to be a store manager of a very safe place to work. This would be important to the father - and would also fill the daughter's need to try that taste of independence. There is NO WAY, I will ever believe I got that job on my own! After all, it required a math test. SERIOUSLY! It had to be my cute red outfit, plus some nice behind the scenes work of a caring Pastor. 

(Sears - Downtown Orlando ...lower left in the photo)

Before I knew it, I was signed up as a Sears Roebuck & Co. employee.  I was well on my way into profit sharing and that huge $52 a week paycheck! 

A floater - indeed, I was. "Floated" from department to department wherever there was a need. Jack of all trades! 

Shoe department- oh that was organizational fun! Men's department, children's, housewares and petty quickly, CATALOG. Evidently I was pretty good with the catalog scene, or no one else wanted the job, but there I stayed for a good bit. It was right by the back door, next to automotive, so I got to watch the interesting characters come and go. I am quite sure that NO ONE near the age of my grand children has a clue what it was like to walk into a store and order from a catalog. (Just think Amazon, kids. Only no digital, no wireless, no drop off at the front door.) Catalog ordering was the best in personal assistance!  And it was a fun place to work!  One day this fella came in and ordered. Then he returned what he ordered, and re-ordered. And returned what he ordered, and re-ordered. This always happened on the day I worked. No one else seemed to be able to assist this fella like I could, so he waited for my work day. I was clueless, of course.   (Fast forward to 2014 and we all know that Roger liked to talk to EVERYONE! New face? He had to know more! Lucky me!)

I remember him being interesting to talk to and that he ordered really awful clothing. 

                                                           Get the idea?

I am sure that fashion was part of the times - but really ...awful. Still gives me shivers

And then one day...

My little Department Manager - she was little - like 5'0" - named Phyllis Mueller, called me in and said, "sit a while, we need to talk."

Was I getting a raise? I was a good little catalog gal!  
Oh no! She had to tell me about this fella that kept coming in..."I KNOW - AWFUL CLOTHES!" ...and that he wanted to ask me out...."WHAT? HE IS OLD!" said sweet little me!   
"Now now honey, I have known him since he was a little thing and he is just the sweetest...."  and on and on.  I guess that was the start of older people watching out for me.   "Just go for coffee" she said.  "I do not drink coffee" I said.  

And so, surely enough, he came around again. Oh yes, Roger was his name! I had written it SO MANY times and never even connected that his dad worked right upstairs. In fact, I already knew his dad and his cousin. Sears - a family kind of place!  And so he asked me to go for a cup of coffee..."I don't drink coffee" I said...to which he replied....'Well, then let's go for tea!"   How do you NOT go out with someone who is so perfectly agreeable?

And such began our meetings. He would come by for lunch and we would head on down to the "Stand and Snack" on Orange Avenue.  It was not long before we had the 'real date.' You know, the dress up special kind of thing. And he came to church with me right away...where my girlfriends said 'Are you crazy for dating an OLD GUY!"  and he walked in the door and knew half the people in the church.  What was this all about? I had to know more. I guess I was hooked by then. 

He drove up one afternoon to pick me up at home and my dad saw him 'unfold" out of his corvette.  I don't even want to go there. Daddy liked really big tank-like cars, so a tiny corvette made absolutely no sense to him.  Never mind that it was cute. 
My sisters said "yes-sir" to him.  Good grief. 
I really did not get that OLD concept people kept referring to after I got to know him, because he really did not seem so OLD.  (I was 20, he was 30 ---I know, CRAZY!) He seemed 24. 

Time passed and we spent a lot of time together. I worked part time and went to school. He had been on medical leave for a car accident on the way to work. (More about that in another post - something I ONLY found out in February 2014)  Yes, he flipped a Corvette - the one he let the astronauts drive up and down the beach.  I was clueless about space and firefighters and all that at the time, so that was only a nice work story.  He soon went back to work and had the craziest hours, but he was off two full days during the week. Wow...weekday dates! We made day trips all over Florida! And we ate out EVERYWHERE. Little did I know that this was a hobby! 

We had a whole lot of fun from July - December 72.  Looking back it was a really short time though before he had fallen head over heels in love. It was that green moon at Disney, he would tell me. Our first 'official real date' was to the recently opened Magic Kingdom. He loved the E-Ticket rides and really loved the Peter Pan ride. Flying over the world, forever young....he was a kid at heart but not immature at all like a kid would be. Every time we would fly around that green moon - we would dream. And sometimes we would ride six times in one day! 

Christmas arrived and with it, a ring. The wedding would be in May - not a moment before my birthday. He wanted no one to say that he had a child bride, so we waited until I had hit the 'legal' age of 21 before we got married. Birthday on the Saturday the 5th and wedding on Saturday the 12th.  We had no reason to factor in Mother's Day! Let's just say that for 40+ years, the gifts just kept on coming in May! Who would have guessed that this 8 day stretch in May would become the most difficult of my life. 

My parents always supported me, so they did not stand in the way or put up a fuss about this old guy. Security, my dad would say. What? But they liked him a whole lot too!  My Pastor asked me if I was crazy - Roger was HIS age! (I never thought my Pastor was so old though - Love you Bro. Bill!)  Looking back, I really am not sure I had a clue about anything, but I was in love. We were in love. 

I love this photo because it is so....FAKE. Act like you are nervous about all of this, Roger...the photographer requested. Seriously. He knew he had found the love of his life. No sweat!   His parents adored me...I mean, how could they not. I think they would have adored ANYONE who captivated this man. They wanted GRANDCHILDREN!  I loved his family - including all of those aunts and uncles and cousins, right away. 

God was blessing and I was still to young to even recognize it. 

And we can't complete this story without recognizing the amazing bridal fashions of the 1970's. I had to be different and go with MANY pastels instead of only one. A girl ahead of her time. And of course I insisted on making every single dress. Glory - I have never done anything the easy way. 

Weddings today involve so much elaborate planning and matching everything, and fancy meals, and so much extra fluff. Back in the day, you pulled together matching outfits, picked one of 5 tuxedos, got your shoes dyed, popped some flowers in your hair and had some candles and flowers at the altar. Afterward, you navigated the receiving line, got your punch and butter mints and nuts and if you waited around long enough, some wedding cake.  I think throwing rice is outlawed today too. It puffs up and choked a bird or something. Ah...just sweep it up and keep it simple, folks.

We did not have all of that fluff, but we had a marriage that stuck together. Through the highs and lows - and it is like that for everyone - through fun and frustration - through times together and times when travel kept us apart - through the busyness of raising children - through tuition payments and college and broken down vehicles. We worked and we planned for that time when the children would be grown and settled and we would be retired and we would go back to the days of our youth. 

Only Roger did have an alternate plan. How about if we don't collect so much stuff, but we do things together all through our lives. With children mostly, without children sometimes. How about if we do the things now that we care about doing. How about if we invest in things of eternal value. How about if people are more important than things.  In all of that planning though, we never really talked about life as separate from one another. Oh, he would say he was older and I should do this or that when he was gone, and I would say that I am the one that is always sick so he should stop telling me that stuff. And we would drop that conversation and save it for another day. 

Am I glad that we followed his 'alternative' plan? Yes, indeed! For he always ALWAYS believed that God numbered our days and that we should redeem the time we have here. He lived out his parents legacy of doing things with family and doing things with friends. He kept church life central to all that we did together. He loved vacations, as short and as ordinary as they might be. He loved doing things that were familiar. He had enough adventure at work! He led us well and he gave us all of himself while he was here. It makes me feel a little greedy to ask for more. 

Yes, in my heart and mind, I will always think it was too short of an earthly journey. I know though, that he ran the race that God planned for him.  I'll always see him driving in and unfolding out of that corvette and being all dreamy-eyed and excited about the future.  And then - I will think about the wonderful life that that future became.  Sitting under the big tree and planning our home, while we worked and saved and lived in an apartment was a special time. Watching two grown men putting together toys and swing sets (Roger and Papa) - and him not having a clue how to assemble anything - still makes me laugh.  Trying to get him to drive a newer car (If it was only 10 years old, it was new to him) rather than always getting the new one for me - was a frustrating task, but he always won. Watching a very proud father every time he was with one or both daughters - wow, the joys of his life.  Hearing him encourage as Jacob played ball, or taking Emily to dance in her little tutu and enjoying time with them at the ice cream shop is something they will treasure forever. And watching Jim, strong himself, relent and leave his wallet at home rather than argue with Roger, is a wonderful memory because not all men will defer to the old guy, but Jim knew there was something deeper there. And.....chasing after him at Disney because he always had us on a mission to see and do it all, when all I wanted to do was stroll, will remain one of the things that I wish I had been more bossy about. But he kept us together and he kept us moving toward a goal. He loved his family more than we will ever be able to imagine. We all were blessed. 

And when I feel that ever present tear, I will call it my showers of blessings and I will thank God for the time we did have here and that at 20 when I was this really clueless young girl, not at all looking for a prince charming....He had one for me all along. 

Right there, under my nose, in the Sears Catalog - terrible fashion sense and all. 

Roger's Lesson; He would laugh at me and say that Brother Bill meant well - and that indeed, I did have a far better fashion sense that he did. And that at 30, he knew what he had been looking for all of his life.  And that he told me that he loved me when he said "I Do" and if he ever changed his mind, he would let me know.  

And I will be forever grateful to little Phyllis Mueller, which may be why I tend to listen to little ole ladies even to this very day. They have a wisdom that we don't understand. Hopefully I will acquire that skill before I get to be a little ole lady! 

40 years, 8 months, 29 days. This Mrs. has been remarkably blessed.

But ......
I never got him to part with that clip-on tie! 

Who would have thought it?

 It has been one of those weeks. Somewhere along my lifetime, I came up with this concept of looking at the 'whole' of things and then backing up to the details of how to get there. Of course, it was not my original concept and I don't even know where I got the idea, but for the most part, it has worked out for me pretty well.

I had not figured this out at age 20, however.  When we were planning a wedding, not once that I ever can recall, did I think to the end of the project. It was "I do! Happily ever after!"    

Even though I was encouraged to take a moment and THINK about marrying a man a decade older than I was, I probably did not, even if I said I did. (Mmybe I did?) 

Not once did I ever see myself walking through this life without Roger. I never saw myself with a Mother's Day without him. I am a mother because of him, after all!

Roger was an 'only child' - yes, I knew about those people. I had friends growing up that were 'onlys.'  A little self absorbed. Wanted what they wanted instantly. Did not always play well with others.   Somehow I forgot all of that when I met Roger.  It never occurred to me that he was an only, even when I met his parents.  I only learned later about how it was just him and his mother for three years while his dad was off fighting for freedom....with General George S. Patton, no less. 

It did not take me too long to realize that because his family was so close and cousins lived nearby, that they were most likely the reason that he was pretty well balanced and not full of himself. Generous, by nature, he always loved to be around people, but he liked his quiet space as well. AHA...that was the 'only' kicking in.  He used to tell me that he could have all of the fun of having siblings to play with and then escape when they drove him nuts. (Sorry, girls!) But they laughed and played A LOT. I could also tell that he grew up in a really fun household, but not one that was a free-for-all.   

Nani was GREAT. And the best part of all was that she was SO ELATED that he was getting married that there was NOTHING WRONG that this old gal could do! Being the daughter in law of an 'only' - at least in my case was the BEST!     Thank you Nani for raising a most wonderful young man! I know you did not do it alone, but you did it well!

Of course, we would never have gotten to this place in my life without my mother. She taught me EVERYTHING.  My sister often says that she was worn out by the time she got to number three....but I disagree. Number 1 was just easier to handle, I am certain! Or perhaps, I just paid attention!   There is something special about that #1 baby, my dad would always say.  I think it is a balance though - parents don't always know what they are doing with #1, so they practice a lot. Thank goodness #2, #3, AND #4 all arrived in a span of about 6 years, so that took a lot of pressure off of me.  

Likely, because she was such a GREAT mother, she did not ask me to tend to the little critters around me too often. Whew!  Or maybe she did and found out that I was not too good at it, or had things like scissors and paint in my hands, or did not stay on task too well.  Anyway....thanks, Mom, for understanding. 
I think my mom was a creative soul down deep - she could sew without a pattern, cook without a recipe, make anything grow....and she was incredibly smart - but did not flaunt those straight A's at us. But she expected a lot. Courtesy. Good manners. She helped us to grow into the people we were meant to be. Great role model!  She left for Heaven far too young but after a very long and lingering decline. I know she has enjoyed the rewards of Heaven all these years, but she did leave me always being drawn to women around me who had those same tender and nurturing qualities. God provided beautifully for me all these years. But I still miss her! Roger always thought she was the sweetest southern lady he had ever met! 

And of course, I can't miss Mother's Day without these two jewels! These are DADDY'S GIRLS! 

It is important to remember that in "Judi's plan for her life" there were no children. There was New York, Broadway (behind the scenes), and world travel.  What was I thinking?  This is one case where I hit the place early on where I asked God to direct my life (before I met Roger) and really had no idea what I was asking for exactly. Innocence - you've got to love it! 

I was married at 21 (more on that tomorrow - Anniversary Day) and had a baby at 23. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!  Talk about being scared and clueless!  They did not have stuff like parenting classes back then. Oh, I read Dr. Spock and thought he was pretty well crazy. Thank goodness for mothers. Thank goodness I had the good sense to look at kids older than my own, that I would like to take home with me...(AKA - Shawn Thompson) and try to figure out how those parents got to the end of parenting without being crazy!  Seriously - a good support system and asking God for guidance really makes a difference.  Of course, DADDY was super involved and 'like-the best dad-eh-ver!" He knew how to have fun and together I think we ended up with some pretty remarkable girls who in my own humble opinion are 'practically perfect in every way'.....thank you for the inspiration, Mary Poppins!  I'd say that our two baby girls are the best gift Roger ever gave me. They still remain the greatest blessings of my life ... and I have a lot of blessings!

Roger's Lesson:  Oh, he would say  "It's just another way that God shows His goodness and mercy to us. We don't have to have all the answers at the beginning of the journey because God has the plan"

And I would say that while we mothers are important in the life of a child, those who made us mothers will have their moments soon.  Redeem the time. The children grow up way too fast!

Diminishing light

It has been a full day. The drive to Oviedo is always ...long. It did not seem long three years ago, so did the road get longer or was I just used to my daily routine?  Routine, I suppose. The car could almost drive itself. 

It was meeting time for my overseas travel group and while it still seems a little odd to be planning a European trip, it is the kind of busy project I need right now. It is one of the few things in my life that is still normal. I guess that is good.  I'm thankful that the school still welcomes my assistance on the project. I know that God knew way back when I was wrapping up my teaching days that there would be a need and He had a way to fill it. It is comforting really, to know that He has a plan and always has. 

It is busy at school, wow, such a busy place. That used to be the way of my life. Busy busy busy. Always another project, always another production, always something that involved getting students prepared for something. But hardly ever quiet. I have come to actually embrace the quiet and the stillness around me. Being still is something that has always been a challenge for me. 

The last time I was really still, was when I was flat on my back fighting cancer. I was not too happy about it but I had no choice. God got my attention then about busy-ness. Being busy and doing good works is a great thing. When Christ is the focus of what you are doing...amazing! You don't always feel tired, but when you do, it is a good tired....like you are accomplishing something.  Back during those days, I came to find out that really and truly, it is not what you do, but who you are that really matters to Christ. I did a lot of reflecting back then and a lot of it is still carrying me through. 

That had to be one of the darkest periods of my life, but I still can see how God carried me through it. The prayers of so many friends who prayed diligently, believed wholeheartedly....oh, I remember! 

Tonight I drove home at dusk - I saw a beautiful sunset. As dusk fell, I wondered why people drove without headlights on. That seemed foolish. Foolishness is rather prevalent in this world of ours. How can you see where you are going without the light?  Seriously - how can you know where you are headed without the light of Christ leading. Puzzling, but people keep attempting it. Those drivers made me nervous - particularly the ones in my rear view mirror! 

By the time I reached home, it was fully dark. I unloaded the car and went back to lock it up. It was cool and quiet outdoors. I heard some little critter with a bird like sound - perhaps an owl. Bats don't make noise, do they?  I felt the little baby skeeters and actually hoped for a few bats!   

Leaning back on the car, I gazed up at the night sky.  I recalled the days when we first moved out her -actually even before we moved out here.  We used to lie in the grass and just look up at the night sky. It was really dark out here back in the 70's and 80's.  We could see the light of Cinderella's castle in the distance across the lake, but that was the only light near the earth.  We could look up at the sky and count the stars. We looked for planets. Of course, there was no space station flying around at the time, but Roger could always spot it once they did put it in the sky. 

These days you have to really strain your eyes to see a star. That does not mean that there are fewer stars of course. It means that there is so much ambient light on the earth that you don't have the contrast. Man's light diminishes God's natural light. Interesting, isn't it? 

Tonight I was recalling for the travel families about what a small part of the population of France even goes to church anymore, and why. "So many other things to do" they say....yes, we have that problem here too. I think it is even more than that. I think that that man's light is diminishing God's natural light.  We have so many distractions that we miss out on the real beauty around us. We are so busy that we miss the stillness.

I would say that this is a pretty dark time in my journey as well. Some days, I just can't seem to get moving. Some days I don't even want to. But I do. Just like I learned during that other dark journey - you get up. You put one foot in front of the other. You think of someone other than yourself and you get moving. And you don't forget to be still every now and then.  Sometimes it is in the stillness and aloneness in the car. Sometimes it is just sitting and taking in the beauty around you. And when that happens, a remarkable thing takes place. You see something that you never saw before and often God reminds you of a truth that you don't often think about. 

Roger's Lesson:  I know he thought my middle name was multi-task and he would often ask if I could just "be still."   Hmm....seems like he might have gotten that concept from His Maker.  

Maybe I am finally starting to get it. 

E Ticket

Magic Kingdom. Close to my heart. Close to my heart in many ways, but mostly because it was the location of our 'first real date.'  

I remember transportation tickets and E tickets.  Roger always went for the E tickets. No A tickets for his date, no only the best that he could afford. And back in the day, that transportation ticket was only around $6. 

I saw this post last night - original monorail now for sale on Ebay. There is just something so sad about that. I guess there is not a monorail graveyard anywhere.  I actually suggested that a friend get it, add pontoons, and float that baby on the Butler Chain. Now, that's MY kind of boat ride - fully air conditioned, of course. You would not even need sunblock!  Roger would laugh about that.  He would probably suggest putting it on a flatbed chaise and getting Bo to retrofit it so he could drive it to work. He liked really old vehicles. 

I imagine we rode on that very monorail car a lot of times! Things get old and you retire them out. That is kind of sad, really. It makes me think again about how Roger really went against the norm. At 71, most people would consider him old enough to be retired, too old to be working. He never considered himself old. He was always determined to keep up with his "troops." 

When I think about it, even though he left for work every shift, expecting them to retire him out, I realize that I should have probably had more contact with his Chief about that. Turns out that there was no plan to retire him out. I would have been waiting FOREVER for that party! 

Unique. Yes, Roger never called himself creative or unique, but he was. Who keeps working when logic says you can chill all day and bask in the sunshine?  Or in my case...travel somewhere in the air conditioning.  He really had the perfect career for him. One day on, two days off. He could do that 24 hour thing. And evidently he did not take the opportunity to sleep when he had it at work.  He always had so much energy.  Not hyperactive type energy - but just 'keep on going' type energy. I guess he just paced himself. 

Even at Disney, he paced himself.  He kept us moving and would then sit or stand and enjoy the experience. In recent years I found myself reminding him to slow down and walk WITH me and not ahead of me. Today....I'd love to be chasing after him even if he walked too fast.  

At least I still have my memories of those days 41 years ago when we took the Magic Kingdom SLOWLY.  We used all of the tickets (officially "coupons A-E") but always seemed to acquire more of the E Tickets. The ones that meant the ride was special, new, unique, exciting.  

Roger's Lesson: Oh, I know he would say that we had an E Ticket Life.  

 Indeed! And I wish he had taken it more slowly, but I also expect that he was showing me that there was something better at the end of it, so keep moving and see it all while you are here. 


So now I will get up off this couch. 

Always

The story of a life

 Early this morning the sun came up. It aways does. God continually gives us new days. Days that can be different from the day before, especially if the day before was a bit heavy. Laughter, but heavy. It seems so odd that it could be like that in the same day, the same moments.

But this morning is beautiful. It is so odd for it to be this cool in Florida in May. I need to embrace it, because as much as I love living in Florida, I do not embrace the heat and humidity.  Today is one of those morning where I just wanted to stay outside. But, at almost 9 am - it was time to come in!

Embrace the moments. Yes.
Perhaps I prepared myself to expect yesterday to be a hard one, and so it was. Maybe it was going to be hard anyway. Maybe it is just supposed to be that way.

Even with the sadness of the day, it still had plenty of laughter. And that was very good!

While we waited for dinner last night, this little Chinese "take-out" box was placed on a platter before me. Like Emily, I thought it was food. A new appetizer?

The words on the box told me that most people tell stories with words, but this was a story told with jewelry. Of course, I did not get it. Bit by bit, I pulled the pieces from the box. A monocle on a chain? A magnifying glass on a chain? What was this?

Piece by piece, I unwrapped a treasure. A key. A tree. A bunny? No...it was upside down...a girl with pigtails - one for Kristin and one for Karin. A cross. A red cardinal. A flag. And...a firefighters maltese cross. And finally a piece of pressed copper. A shield penny, they said.

Oh! It was telling a story!

As we assembled the pieces I saw that the Cross is what brought us together. It's a long story but it has to do with a very special Pastor of mine, a church member store manager, and a job. (Maybe that will be an anniversary day post!)

Roger was a firefighter for 52 years. He never retired. How appropriate to include the firefighter's emblem. He was our hero, our protector, and he was always on the alert for danger. Saftey First!
And they did not even know it, but Emily pointed out to me in the afternoon that Ocoee Engine 39 was driving past our corner. What a fun birthday surprise. I'm glad she was more observant than I! 

We had two beautiful girls. What a gift! Part of his great legacy.

We love our country and as much as we loved to travel, there was no place like home. In the USA. And he believed in the principles upon which this country was founded. "IN GOD" he always trusted.

One thing we loved in the place where we live was watching the cardinals every spring. This year the yard seemed to be filled with cardinals. There were many days after Feb 10 when I would open the garage door and many cardinals would take off flying What were they doing in the garage? I had never seen that before! They flew out of cubbyholes and from nooks and crannies in the shelving. Certainly they could not be building nests there. (I will find that out when I face up to cleaning out the garage one day - maybe in the fall)  I finally discovered that they had been pulling fibers from my coconut hull baskets! Nest building, indeed! They were building homes, like we did.

And since, I have enjoyed the baby cardinals and continue to see the bright red male cardinals. Interestingly, yesterday I was walking the dog and happened to be thinking that I had not seen cardinals for a while. While standing still, waiting on the dog, I spotted a red cardinal on the ground eating berries from the camphor tree. I just watched. He busied himself and did not fly away. He was less than 6 feet away from me but did not fly away! When a car passed by, he moved to a nearby branch, and then to the brick mailbox across the street. I just watched him for a very long time. He would eat and then look at me. Eat some more and look at me.  It brought a smile and laughter as I though of Roger in a red shirt, eating and wondered if this bird might be looking to me to bring the mayonnaise!  Ha...crazy thought.   Our red cardinals will always remind me of Roger and perhaps I will remember to be still and just observe and listen....and remember the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  (Brother Bill used to say that all the time and I love that phrase from the Bible - it means a lot more today than it ever did though)

The key - oh it opens things. It reminds me that it opens doors of opportunity. It opens doors to your home, your means of transportation, your place of work. You hear it referred to as a key to knowledge. A key is a pretty important material possession. It opens a lot of things you need on this journey. It also is representative of someone holding the key to your heart.  I collect keys and I love unusual and very old keys. They tell a story. This special key tells the story of the man I love.

And the tree. Roger loved his trees and would never of his own accord have one taken down. We just lived that tree episode a week or two ago. And Mike gave us that new tree...that live oak. The one that can weather the storms. The back of that little charm says "Life is a gift."  How appropriate.

The little copper disc is representative of the shield pennies that we watch for. It is pressed really thin and on the back, it is embossed with "Always."  Not only will Roger be with us always, Christ will be with us always and help us through the ups and downs, the laugher and tears.

We tell a story with jewelry. How precious. How unique is this special necklace.
What a beautiful ending for a very difficult day. I will treasure this always and it is indeed a new day, and a new beginning, but Roger will be here ALWAYS because you don't live a good and godly life and become forgotten.

Roger's Lesson:  Oh he would say to get over the tears. He would say to focus on the key.

The key he would point to is to a 'door' and the only door that really matters, not only in this earthly life but for eternity.
"For I stand at the door and knock - and if any man hears my voice, and opens the door, I will come in...."  (Rev 3:20)          
But in order to hear - you have to be still and you have to be listening. (And often times, that does not happen until you are flat on your back, looking up) And of course, faith is involved.

"For I am the way, the truth, and the life and no man comes to the Father except by Me."
Like it or not, no matter what this world has to say or offer. God is the one who has the final say. And this is what He said...not us.

Who holds the key to your heart? Roger holds the key to my earthly love and inspires me even as he is in eternity now. Jesus holds the key to my heart though, as he did for Roger.  Roger is enjoying the fullness of His presence right now, and I will one day.

Until then, I will keep on collecting keys, and seeing what opportunities God still has before me.  It will be a different experience from now on, but with Christ, every single day holds something new to enjoy. Ups and downs. He is always there.   Always.