Happy Birthday

May 5, 2015

I love morning email messages that tell me that something is coming in the mail.

In this case, about 35 photo albums.

I spent the better part of April re-reading journals and going through 15, 000 (+) photos in order to create a photo album for the kids (well - their parents) who went to Europe's Mediterranean Coast in January.

The theme - interestingly - The Journey.

And talk about surprises. I still sit here in May - going into 4 months from that 'diagnosis'  of "Malignant" - and thinking about the journey.  In January, I was headed to Europe - Italy, Monaco, France, Spain - and yet, while the kids were away, I spent the time in the hospital. (Thankfully, not a European one!)

Thankfully, I trusted God to open and close doors, which I always try to do. Of course, I was praying for the group - not praying about me. But God knew. He always does.

God knew what we all needed before we knew. His presence has been evident every step of the way these past four months.

We are praying that I will respond well to treatments, and the doctors are very pleased that I am.  I know that is not me, that is prayer.

In these journals, I read student recollections of endurance, perseverance, and the fact that this journey called life is their personal journey, and not one that someone can do for them.  Did they 'get it?'  Only time will tell.  I like writing things down because it makes it so much easier to recall your experiences and your thoughts.  No one can mess with your head if you write things down.

I know that the process of journaling (blogging) has helped me through this journey called 'grief' this past year.  I can tell a difference when days go by and I have not expressed my thoughts in written word.  I know that much of this journey is a process and that each journey is different, and yet much the same.

I love watching the lives of these young people that God allowed to cross my path - for whatever the reason and no matter how long or short the time.  I love watching the people they grow to be and the way they choose to live their lives.  I love being able to pray that they find their way, even when they may not know that I am even aware or praying.

We did not have 'social media' when I was a teen. Their lives are so much on display that in many ways it is scary. Yet, I have to believe that in many ways, this new media of ours is something that can be used for so much good if we will allow it.   And I allow it to be my little portal for prayer.   I allow God to let some random name pop up every now and then so that I have no need to 'stalk' - I don't like that terminology and I don't do it ' but when someone randomly comes up, it is like my little message from God that they need something and I can pray about it.

This week, one is taking parents to Europe - I think that is so exciting and I am praying that she makes it the most amazing trip of their lives. They are blessed and she will teach them a lot. It is good as we get older, to let our children lead. It is one way that we know we can trust them to make good decisions on our behalf when we reach the point of needing their assistance.

Another just got married. I am praying that he leads that new bride beautifully as the spiritual leader of his new home.

Babies are being born and families expanding. And I pray for health and joy as they lead these little ones to know God at an early age.

But at the other end of the spectrum, there are friends who are ill, or losing parents, or struggling with losing the independence they cherish, and specific prayers are there for them as well.

Does it make any difference?  I have to believe that it does. I know it does in my life.

I know that it is a lot better to spend my days praying for others and ways for them to draw closer to God than it is to just sit in the house all day and wish myself well, or grumble about all that I can not do right now.

Roger's Lesson:  As long as you are living and breathing, find a way to do something for other people. You'll enjoy life more every day.  And every 365 of them, you're another year closer to eternity! 

I would say so!

And more than that, only four months ago, I was not entirely sure - actually not sure at all that I would see another birthday - or at the very least, not be very well when one rolled around.

But today - I would kick up my heels - if it were not for that weight-bearing issue on a fractured hip.  But in my mind, I will be kicking up my heels - and I will be rejoicing that I am indeed another year older. And it does not bother  me one single bit.

I can still say, that when the doctors did not give me hope of seeing 46 - well, for goodness sakes - sixty something looks pretty great!

Happy birthday to me - Around 23, 010 days, and counting.

Of course, only God knows the true number of the days - and that there will be so many more in eternity!