Throw Back - Webster

 I love getting photos of Roger in my email.

These candids crack me up. This was during the 'victory party' for his man Dan, way back in .....late 80's early 90s.   This was his first run for Florida House.

He was running against a long term incumbent names Swanson. A good guy. The butterfly man.

The race was a long shot and I don't even remember much of a Swanson campaign.

Roger loved politics and especially loved

working to get Dan elected.  (AKA - Danny from Pine Hills)

We were all just regular old people and Dan was just doing what he felt that God was leading him to do. We were all pretty much clueless too. Talk about a grass roots campaign. No money, no idea how to run a campaign. Just a God-given vision and  a willingness to work.

Back in the day, nothing was "streaming" - everything came in on a small tv or on the radio...and Roger had SOME RADIO!

If he had not been at the party, he would have been doing the same thing at home....listening to the returns.

Of course, we know the outcome. We know that Dan won and that it was the beginning of a long career of service to his constituents.

These photos remind me of how Roger stuck with someone if he truly believed in their efforts and their vision.

It also reminds me of what good friendships are all about.

Roger's Lesson:  Stick with good people. Help where you can, and always work to make things better.

Yes - and Dan still does!

Brilliant!

It was one of those days in December 2014 that seemed to be rare. It was cold.

I walked out to do those ordinary things of life - take out the recycling and trash.

Then I saw it - the pink reflection on the tree trunks. I turned to the west and saw the most brilliant sunset that I had seen in a long long time.

It was just what I needed that afternoon. It had just been one of those days. Let's call it low key. Sad.


Then, all of a sudden, all it took was a breath of brisk air and becoming aware of the color around me.

It just made me think of God and all of His Glory.  Those clouds were so unusual. And they pointed up. Clouds generally float about on a horizontal plane.

But not this day.
These clouds made me stop and reflect on life. On our life together. On the way that God allowed our paths to cross and for our hearts to fall in love. On the way He guided us to this place to build our home and our family. On the way Roger so enjoyed sitting in the swing and watching the sun set.

And in moments, the sky was quiet and serene and darkness came upon the sky.

But for a few moments, I was able to stand in awe of God's creation for that moment in time.
And it changed the course of my day.

Roger's Lesson:   Don't stay inside too long. You'll miss too much. Look around, God speaks in the most remarkable ways. 

Yes - I'll keep singing His praises. His brilliance is all around me. He's getting me through, day by day.

Oob-what?

 A simple trip to the store.

Well, a trip to Publix with Emily is never simple, nor without hilarity.

She was telling me about science and this stuff we just had to make. She insisted that she knew the recipe and that it would be 'just great.'

It had something to do with Dr. Seuss. It is called Oob-leck.

So we headed to the store for Corn Starch - ONLY Corn Starch.

Somehow we passed this basket of junk juice. Well, I call it that. Kristin probably does as well.

"Ohhhhh, Juci!  This is mine and Jacob's FAVORITE drink, so can't we just get some"

"Hmm - I am pretty sure that mom would not think that is a good idea."

"Oh, but Juci, did you know that RoRo would always buy it. He would think it was a good idea, so I think you should get it because he would - you want to do what RoRo would do, don't you?"

Heart Melt.

Roger's Lesson:  Redeem the time.  Allen's Ice Cream was not always the healthiest thing for them either, but it was fun and it did taste good.  And it left them with good memories.

I guess that is enough said.

Positively Wonderful

Merry Christmas!  It started out like most other mornings, quiet - very quiet.

This one was no ordinary morning though. It was Christmas! I left the twinkling lights on last night just so that I could awaken to the magical moments of the day. I have always loved those quiet few moments before the day gets crazy.

It has been years since we have had little ones waking us up early to see what was in all of those packages, so I was accustomed to sleeping until at least 6 AM.

First up, just thanking God for His remarkable Gift. We would not even be stopping to celebrate this time of year if not for the birth of a baby who changed the course of history. HIS-story.  My love for history grew deeper when I finally connected the dots and began to look at all that takes place on this earth as His-story.  God is central to it all - all you have to do is look in order to find Him.  So, early this morning I thanked God that I found Him early in my life and that the people He placed in my path have assisted in my growing closer to and having a deeper walk with Him.  Nothing else about this day was as important  - I think we call it "The Reason for the Season."   Absolutely true.

Food for the soul - then for the body. Those little pups rolled up in blankets did the trick. That and some warm brie with berries. Let's not forget the sparkling juice.  Memories of Christmases past.

This year we decided to do the 'progressive Christmas." So many families spend the day hopping in and out of the car, making the rounds to visit relatives. We have been blessed to have everyone close by for so many years. It is quite the unusual thing for families this year. I thought about so many friends who have some of their children home for Christmas, and others far away - if not overseas. I thought of kids that I have taught over the years who have their own young families, yet still long to be home with those 'grand' parents for this special time of year. Sometimes it just does not work out because work schedules, logistics, and even finances don't allow for it - but the heart still keeps everyone close.  I thought about people, often those much older than myself, who have lost a spouse this year and I thought about how hard it must be when you have shared a life for 60+ years with someone.  The sense of loss can be overwhelming if you allow it to take over you.

We decided to focus on that joyful Christmas that Roger must be having rather than on our loss.  That eternal hope.  Yes, because of Jesus, we were able to make it!

First stop - Kristin's.  Roger always manned the trash bag. His idea, not ours.  I don't recall a time when we ever had piles of paper all over the floor.  Of course, I also know why.

It was not only because it was a fire hazard.  It was mostly because of our first Christmas together - we were engaged at that point and we had this grand Christmas at my (parent's) house. He had come in with gifts for all and joined in with the craziness that was our home.
He was dismayed at then end of it all when he discovered that a certain gift was missing. It was a pair of white calfskin gloves. Clearly expensive, and missing.  He realized that they likely went out with the trash somewhere between his home and mine, but never found that precious gift that he selected especially for me.

I guess that was the when he decided that things could be better done differently in the midst of "gifting chaos."   It was just too easy for something of value to become lost.

So, for as long as I can remember, present opening was done in a more orderly fashion in our home. Oh, there was a lot of present opening going on, but instead of everyone tearing into everything in a wild frenzy, we stopped to enjoy what each other received. And then promptly eliminated excess paper before something valuable was buried beneath it.  It sounds kind of boring when writing about it, yet is never was boring!

Yes, we had to figure out how we were going to get through this activity, and that job fell to Jacob. I have to admit, that he rose to the occasion and came up with a very creative solution. He was able to combine his love for sports with his need to manage excess paper. Key to the paper dunk - roll it up tight!

What a delightful time we had at stop one (Kristin's) and stop two (Karin's)  - and all paper was contained and in the recycle bin before we knew it.

Off to stop number three. First up, family game time. I don't know the name of it, but it was some form of charades. Emily is finally old enough to participate with the big folks and she can figure out most of the words now.  Of course, the no talking part is still hard for her.  It was a fun time and who ever won, oh, that never matters!

Since we only had to travel around the block to visit all the homes, some of the cuties never got out of their Christmas jammies! Talk about a relaxing day!  Karin even put Kellen in his jammies and left him home to get caught up on his napping before coming over.  Iron, on the other hand, appears to have the Underwood gene. He has the ability to stretch out and sleep anywhere and under any conditions.

We enjoyed opening a few more gifts and of course mom's favorite activity....the stockings.  It's a tradition that goes way back to Christmases past.  I think everyone is pretty well exhausted by the time 'stocking time' rolls around, but somehow we get our second wind. Hopefully the 2014 ornaments - red cardinals - will forever be a reminder of God's faithfulness during this year.  It has been pointed out many times this year that seeing a cardinal is a reminder that a loved one who is now resting with Jesus is still with us in many ways. I can not remember seeing as many cardinals in the course of a year as I have this year. It has been a pretty remarkable thing, and I give credit to The Comforter, for it is God's promise that He would never leave us, nor forsake up. He has not, and the blessing of praying friends has been a gift beyond belief.

As the quiet of the evening came upon me, after everyone headed back to their homes, I stopped for a cup of Twinings Christmas Tea - in Roger's favorite cup.

It was not until this moment that I realized that I had placed one of his cups on top of the armor which still holds some of our precious memories of him.

For some reason, he has collected Dunkin Donuts Christmas cups for years.  I faithfully stored them for him, because after all, he collected precious few things.

And in this moment I realized

Roger's Lesson:  "You never know when you will need them" - the cups have a message you need to remember. And it is not about coffee. 

I have been looking at these cups all month and have tried to live it's message, but never realized that I was looking at the message all month. JOY - years ago there was a message that said it meant "Jesus Others You" - in other words - prioritize your life in that order.  I wonder if that is why Roger collected those cups.

Indeed, I have enjoyed doing for others this season, and I would like to think that it is a habit, but I don't really know. I do know that when I stay busy doing for and with others and not on dwelling on myself or my loss, I have a much more successful day.

I also know that Joy, or happiness, is a choice. It is a personal choice. It is not something that someone can do for me, or give me.  Much like the gift of salvation, it is something I choose to accept.  Unlike salvation, which lasts for eternity, joy is something I have to choose every day, if not every moment of my life.

Yes, life is different now. Christmas is different now. Jim surprised us with a 'Roger moment' which will forever bless my heart. We kept a lot of traditions because we knew he loved them. Things may change in the future, and then again, some things may not.

But, we made it through this rather large milestone and we did it joyfully. We did it because we have each other - the family that is and always will be a part of Roger. It blesses our hearts so much to know that he was so loved by so many people. He has shown us a lot this year, but I know there is so much more to learn.

I know this - God places special people in our lives for a very special purpose. We learn from one another and we can build one another up or tear them down. We can bring joy or we can be a stress. All of these things are choices that we can control.

So look  around for those positive people in your life - learn from them - and become one.

Thanks, Roger, for allowing Christ in you to teach us so many wonderful things.
It has indeed been a joyful day.

Candlelight

There is just something about the Disney tradition called "Candlelight."  I've only experienced it once this year - thank you Janie and Eddie - but it never fails to inspire me.

Roger and I would typically show up for no less than six performances each season - yea for Disney passes! He would stand in line at three pm and faithful hold our place until seating opened around 5ish.  I/we would keep him occupied with fresh coffee and he would know the life story of anyone he met in that ever growing line.

Oh - I shopped, or sat on a bench and people watched, or sketched. Then I got in line at the appointed time for only a fifteen minute wait.

Now really, WHO does this!

We voted this year. No takers, so we signed up for the Candlelight Dinner Package.
Guaranteed seats.  Row 3, BABY!   And I am so glad that Janie and Eddie enjoyed it. I  love experiencing Candlelight with someone who has never had that experience before!

John Sinclair is far and away my favorite Conductor. Perhaps it is because I have watched him for so many years. Perhaps it is because I have stood behind the scenes and watched him motivate and challenge the many students who performed over the years. Perhaps it is because I have experienced watching him as well as being directed by him.  I don't know, but no other conductor measures up.

Students who have worked under him at Rollins are truly blessed. Hope they know that!

Though I love every song and particularly the reading of the Scriptures - the Christmas Story - my personal favorite is when the orchestra hits that first note in Handel's Messiah.
It is really neat to sit in the back of the amphitheater and watch people stand before the first note ends. Others begin to get up, but I love trying to get my creaky old knees upright on the first note.

Roger would have been glad that I did not skip Candlelight this year.
I am glad I did not skip it but I am more glad that I did not experience it alone.

God continues to give good and perfect gifts, and the gift of friendships that have lasted through the years is one of the best.
It is really an amazing thing to meet, enjoy one another, years pass, then reconnect and pick up as if hardly a day had passed. Unique maybe.  I think it is that bond that Christ gives us through his body.

Thanks for the day Janie and Eddie!  When I drink my Christmas Tea (England) this year, I'll be thinking of the fun we had that day!

Roger's Lesson:  Never discount the friends that God placed in your life. They make you better. They lift you up when you need that extra boost - and you need to keep doing that for others too.  Journey together until we meet again, or until Jesus comes - whichever happens first. 

Yes - and I very much enjoyed this day's journey!

It's the Experience

Practical - on the scale of practical, I was far more practical in most things than Roger was.  A hundred dollars for a meal? Ah, there are better ways to spend that money.

Roger didn't think that way. If it was something he wanted to try, within reason, he just wanted to do it.

I tended to save for the future and he tended to save some and then live in the now. These days, I think his way was better.

Our 40th anniversary was last May and loving Disney like we did, he picked Epcot - and a mystery restaurant. One of our all time favorites was the wonderful bistro in France. He would often say that we should 'check out' that place upstairs on our next visit. We never had, in all those years, until he surprised me in May 2013.

He knew I would not love the priciness, so he pre-ordered and did not let me see the menu. Clever chap!

You kind of have to know where to find Monsieur Paul - because it is one of those small number of tables, and quiet, quaint restaurants. It is modeled after Monsieur Paul in Paris. (The real Paris, France)

It was spectacular. Seat by the window, overlooking Spaceship Earth. He told me all that mushy stuff like how I was the world to him and how he could not believe 40 years had passed so quickly. He was
quite the romantic that night and I am not at all sure I appreciated it like I do now. Watching the fireworks from our own private viewing spot reminded us of our first dates - though they were in the Magic Kingdom at that time.

We spent a lot of time reflecting back on the life we had enjoyed together. Like everyone else, there had been ups and downs, good times and hard times, challenges and opportunities. Together we grew.
We always loved that little poem that said  "come and grow old with me, the best is yet to be."

And neither one of us actually considered ourselves 'old.'

Well, unless we had worked in the yard all day.

It was one of those days and nights where you stop and enjoy it, embrace the moments and appreciate another anniversary, and then life kicks back into high gear and you get going again.

Today, as I sit and recall, I am so thankful for that moment in time. That moment when he did not discuss with me about the detonation, or the price. I am ever so thankful that I was "retired" and life was not overly busy, nor me, overly stressed.  We were really able to live 'in the moment' for this little period of time.  Disney can be magical like that.  I think God just allowed it.

Reflecting back, I don't think Roger knew his days were numbered like they were, but I do think that when he turned 70 (in January 2013) that he really began to 'redeem the time' and not put off things that he really wanted to do.  Of course, I never saw it then, but hind-sight teaches you a lot.

Roger's Lesson:  Remember this little 'nook' in France every time you walk by. Let it be a marker, much like those stone markers in the Bible, where God inspired men to mark the place where something remarkable happened.  Our remarkable was our life together, our family and what God allowed us to experience on this earthly journey. Don't forget those things. Let them make you stronger and make you love more. And always redeem the time. 

Yes, he showed us how to love. He loved by giving and doing. He loved experiences, not stuff.
He redeemed the time.

J.O.Y.

 How do you NOT love Publix?  Roger had this Publix tradition. It was not enough that he visited for some item or another, at minimum, once per every day that he was off...he also started asking about Christmas tree arrival early in November.

Roger was definitely a dedicated customer. He was well aware that each Publix only ordered a designated number of trees, enough of for their regular customers. Their goal was to get 'em in and get 'em out with none leftover...and none cluttering up the sidewalk space for more than 10 days.  Since he definitely counted himself among the 'regulars' - there was no way that he would walk away without a tree. And on the first day of sales, if he was off.

This year the whole tree thing was a big stress for me. I felt like I needed to go 'real' , for tradition's sake, but how in the world was I going to get a tree on top of my car, home, installed in a stand, into the house and leveled? It was just way too much to think about, so I was well prepared to 'go fake.'      Then Karin suggested a stop by our local Publix, which revealed some fine young men installing trees into stands.   AHA!  When questioned, they assured us that they would do the job and we said...'be right back!"

Imagine their surprise when we were - right back.  I mean, the stand was half the battle. When we found a shield penny on the way to the car, our decision was made. Live tree indeed. Disposition changed.

These guys were hilarious and I found it impossible to be sad and gloomy about what I was missing when these two were so full of the Christmas spirit. They also loved that I brought sheets and bungee cords - so they happily wrapped that tree to keep the sap off my car. They LOVED the bungees!
Roger never shopped around for trees. He went to Publix and he said....I'll take two. Did not even unwrap them.  That....is faith!

Step one - before December 1, we had our trees, Karin and me.

 Moving Christmas trees was not the easiest thing we have ever done, but getting those things OFF of an SUV ....well, mission accomplished!  We put that crazy thing on the car and got it into my family room. Standing up and tied off to the drapery rod....just as Roger would have it.

Back to the SUV and off to Karin's! I suppose it was kind of like chopping down your own tree and sledding it home. One can only imagine. Somehow we wrangled that massive tree into her living room and stood it upright.

 And Karin was far more prepared than I. She had the space and and one very confused doggie. Poor thing. She had moved furniture around, then there was this new and unfamiliar piney fragrance....tough for a blind pup!

Her tree was a good chunk taller then mine, but it is amazing what two determined young ladies can accomplish when they put their heads together! Tree installed!  Pup...still confused.

And this is only the beginning. The process of dragging out the Christmas bins takes days, by yourself. For some reason, last year I decided to buy a ton of matching bins and sort through my stuff. One bin, one project. Every room - a different theme - pure craziness, but Roger loved Christmas throughout the house.

At least it was easy enough to move it all by myself!

And so the decorating 'party' began. While I was accustomed to a nice fire roaring, no matter the outside temp, and the smell of coffee brewing - those were missing this year.  Good old BHN Channel 440 kept the Christmas carols blasting from daytime and into the night. I turned the air down low and put on fuzzy socks, and started with the lights. There is something about those lights that just makes it feel all Christmas-y.  That, and the smell of pine. Work in progress.

And when I stopped to rest, then came the thinking, and the memories, and the tears.

I'm sure they were tears of my/our loss and not tears of his joy.

Yes, Christmas will be different this year, and it has been really hard to record those precious moments along the way, so I really hope that I get them recorded so I don't forget.

Reflection has been different this year. What hurt so deeply only a month ago, has given way to embracing the joy of what Roger loved best about this season.  In the same way that joy is a choice, those waves of sadness are also a choice. I can make the decision to withdraw within and ride it out in sadness and loss, or to rise above it and remember the joyful times and look to the future when we all will indeed be together again.

I think we all have chosen to pick joy throughout this journey. It is what we have done all of our lives, but the joy seems so much richer and so much deeper when you consciously CHOOSE joy after a bout of that deep sadness.  I've come to see that the sadness is also a part of that journey though.  It must be the contrasts that make the feelings so overwhelmingly strong.

So, for the most part this Christmas - or the days leading up to the big day - have been mostly joyful. They have been filled with fun and with laughter.  We have all told our fair share of 'Roger stories' and laughed some more.

Within the week the house was decorated to the point of 'overload' - but I have to admit that my children and grandchildren - and friends too, have commented on it more than I ever recall hearing.

I've decided that either we stop hearing certain things over the years, or we take for granted the simple things, and the beauty around us simply because it is always there.

I don't know if we have taken for granted the joy and laughter that has always been a part of our lives, but I do know that it was a conscious effort this year, on many days, to choose joy and to choose to laugh.  I hope I never take that for granted again.

Roger's Lesson: Christmas is not about you, it is about Jesus. God sent Him to earth - Jesus willingly CAME to earth - and it was for one purpose alone, so don't forget that.  Jesus did not come on the human scene for joy and laughter, though surely he brought it to those he encountered.  He came to save the world from an eternity in hell, where there is no joy and no laughter. He came for the purpose of dying - willingly giving up his life - as payment for our sin. You know, sin, that stuff that is contrary to God's ways. We all have it in one form or another.  Your job it to face it, just like you face sadness - then make your choice. Make the choice that actually means something joyful for eternity. There is only one way.    

Yes - and Roger is doing the REAL living this Christmas - and I'm pretty sure he would not willingly come back to this old earth even if he could.  Real joy - yes, that is Christmas. Real joy, because of Christ!

Now I will take photos of all of this crazy decorating!

Never an X

 It's Christmas and I have almost missed the recollections of Christmases past. Or perhaps, I have been stuck in those recollections. 

Some days it has been really hard to get moving and face the day. EVERYTHING around me reminds me of Roger. 

I know that I'm not alone in this and because of this, I know that even though Christmas will be different this year, so much of it will be the same.  But, on a daily basis, wow....step by step. A journey.


Last year, Christmas season 2013, we had a ball at the Disney Parks. We tried to hit all of the hotels and count all of the hidden Mickeys. Roger, never the fan of photos, humored us more than he ever had. He even relaxed and smiled for the little birdie very often!  ("Don't bite your lip, RoRo")
He always got so still and serious when the camera pointed toward him - it is like he was camera-trained a half century ago! Or like in those historical sepia prints. 

Roger loved Christmas time more than anyone I think I have ever known.  Of course, on his end, he kept things simple - practical gift cards, one box to open, each.   Polar opposite of yours truly, who grew up with tons of boxes and bows - not necessarily expensive stuff, but oh, so much fun to unwrap! A little is never enough when it comes to sparkles and embellishment - visual image, you know! 

Daddy (my daddy) loved the room full of gifts. I guess when you grow up in a family of 13 children, even with one gift each, you have a lot of boxes. With four children of his own, he liked to keep up that visual image, I guess.   He always taught us that the gifts were like blessings or gifts from God. You don't know what is in it until you accept it and actively participate by opening it.  Some gifts are a surprise, some are practical, but you are not really deserving of any of them. You don't get them because you are good, you get them because you are loved. I realize how much I have experienced that lesson, day by day, this past year.  Actively participate, would be the key word here. 

I'm not sure I ever looked at it from that perspective before, but the lesson stuck.  I kind of followed that tradition. I like boxes and mostly, I like embellishment.  I love that expectation of what could be inside - just a surprise, or something practical?  I love that each gift is prepared and presented with love, above all.  

Roger was a far more minimalist person that I can ever hope to be. He liked for people to be happy and as adults, liked for them to make decisions about what made them happy.  His approach was that you gift because you love, but that one was enough. Why, because it reminds us that only one gift is the important one that we can receive, only we have to choose to accept it. His one wrapped gift was symbolic of the gift that God gave to each of us and the reason we celebrate Christmas in the first place. 

He also believed that no one was responsible for your happiness except you - it is your choice, your decision to be happy - or not. Thus the gift card, I suppose. I never really connected those dots, until now. 

Actually, Roger could go into great detail about the history of Christmas, the pagan traditions, the celebrations from around the world, yet would always remind us that it is a marker on the timeline of history that we call Christmas-and it is there for a reason.  It could be called anything, but it is called Christmas because CHRIST is central to all of it. It is a marker in history when the world was changed. A child was sent to earth from Heaven - to grow up and live as man. He arrived on the earthly scene to show us how to live now, so that we could better appreciate how we can live for eternity.  It is one of only two truly important markers on that historical time line. 

He lived it - preached it with his life, but did not bombard people, nor make them feel bad if they did not agree with him or have differing beliefs. He really believed that only God could convict any man, woman or child of their need for Him and the salvation He offered.  

So often, when crazy things happened in the news, or even in life  - he would so simply point out that people become so 'anti-Christmas' (as in Happy Holidays, removing Nativity scenes, etc) - because they are under conviction and don't want to deal with it. People do that all the time, he would share, because they are essentially running from God because the ways of man seem to be more important than the ways of God.  And it always made him sad.

I really loved listening to Roger put so much of history into perspective. If he had not chosen the fire service as a career, he would have made an outstanding professor of history! I had benefit of enjoying both! 

And so....those gifts. He loved getting his grandchildren just what they wanted. Legos were the go-to item for Jacob for as long as I can remember. These days he is quite the robotic guy. Roger would have loved watching him create those mechanical wonders this year. 

Last Christmas Emily told him that she wanted a light blue dress. When he told me, as we were headed out shopping, I recall saying 'WHAT? Where in the world are we going to find a light blue dress AT CHRISTMAS TIME?"

Oh, but he would have gone to the ends of the earth to find it.  And find it, we did! When he saw that dress from across the store, he said "THAT'S IT!"   He took off quickly to get her size - and I am SO THANKFUL that I talked him into getting one that 'fit now' as opposed to one she had to grow into!  He had this thing for frilly dresses for little girls. 
He bought them for Kristin and Karin, and now Emily.  Always his pick! 

I find it really interesting that this photo is so blurry. Almost like a memory. It is the only one we have of the moment and it is actually surprising that I did not delete it when I found it blurry - last Christmas! 

And yet, God, who orders my steps, allowed me to stumble across this digital image at the time I needed it most. 

It reminds me that Roger is still here, even if only in our memories. Yet, he is as real and as present as I can even imagine.  Maybe that is symbolic of the way that Christ may not be here in person, but I feel his presence daily. 

Seeing this little girl and recalling that fully embellished gift that she so enjoyed opening - and the thrill of finding just what she wanted, more beautiful than she imagined - will always remind me that he was still teaching about the joy he had in watching her joy.  And that is how God feels when we accept his Gift of Christ.  Ecstatic, I would imagine! 

Roger's Lesson:   Have fun at Christmas and enjoy the sights and the lights, and all of your 'embellishments" - and don't stop doing that. Mostly though, remember family and friends and those you love and who need love. And always remember that Christmas never was about the STUFF - it is about the love that God showed to each of us so long ago, and still today, when He gave HIS SON to us, on earth - to show us the way to live - for now and for eternity. Christmas is about CHRIST - no matter how anyone tries to tell you differently. And Jesus, the CHRIST, came on the scene for you. 

Yes, indeed. So we will not allow this special time of year pass us by, even without Roger's presence. We will remember that he was one of God's most special gifts to us, and be thankful for the days that we had him.  

And we won't take shortcuts, using an X and leaving Christ out of it all. Christ - central to the celebration. 

And I am sure that we will be thinking of one amazing celebration taking place in Heaven this year! 

Sweet - for Eternity!

It is just not Thanksgiving without pie. Norman Rockwell says so. Well, at least that was a part of the American tradition that he illustrated so well.

These days we seem to run to the store for things like pie. Mrs. Smith and Marie Callander have made it so very easy for us. And the pies taste great too. They probably have enough preservatives in them to make us last a long time too.

Every once in a while we decide to slow down, and Thanksgiving is one of those times when Karin gets the cooking bug. I personally think she can channel Martha Stewart if she wants to, but being ever so practical, she lets others have the fun if they are so inclined.  Ah - that's what I need, a Martha Stewart kitchen!

Roger loved family times and I think he loved it even more when it involved home baked goods.

I always got a good laugh at these baking times. Roger was famous for saying...."oh, I do NOT like sugar!"   Right.   How many people who knew Roger Tome would say that he did not like sugar?

What he actually meant was...I do not like to add sugar to what has already been prepared for me.  That might be, ice cream, cake, pie, coffee......peanut butter cups.....

Get the idea?

I never, ever, saw him turn down something that had sugar already hidden within it's recipe.   Occasionally, however, he would say that something was too sweet. Like Pecan Pie - my  personal favorite, sweet as it might be!

So we gathered at the Thanksgiving table this year and we really missed Roger. Emily created a beautiful floral centerpiece, with great thanks to the neighbors who grow amazing flowers in their landscapes. She arranged it just perfectly - a little Martha Stewart in the making!

I can still see Nani's pilgrims on the table. Mr. Pilgrim has lost the top of his musket, but that does not matter. It is a good place for a flower. You don't have to toss something because it might be slightly broken. You just add something beautiful to it.

So, in a way, our lives are broken this Thanksgiving. They are a little sadder because someone very special is missing. Roger was the only one who needed a coffee pot running all day, every day. He was the only one who would at least try every new dish on the table - although we tend to be a family that has personal favorites at Thanksgiving. I think Jim is the adventurous one.  I'm glad he did the TurDuckIn last year so that Roger could experience it.

But all in all, everything was lovely and we laughed a lot. And we ate much more than we should have...and though he did not get any, Roger would have been all about Jessica's Creme Brûlée  -  even when she pulled out the torch!

Roger's Lesson:
Keep on loving one another and spending those special times together. They mean more than anything that money can buy.

We are fortunate that our family does not really fight or disagree about too much, or very often at all. Maybe the trials of this lifetime have taught us that there are some things that are so much more important than the silly things of life - that cause disagreements and heartaches.   Maybe we have just learned that some things are important for eternity, and some just are not.

And Roger would say that FAMILY is important and that God put that unique combination together for a reason.

And best of all, the thought of being together in the Family of God - for eternity - tops anything that life can dish out.

We miss you Roger - always will - but just knowing we will all be together again.....Thank you Jesus, that you made that possible.....

For Eternity! 

First Responders

Days of our Lives.....not the soap opera, but rather, this blog. It was meant to be a journal of this new journey of ours. This journey, where life as we knew it came to a screeching halt back in February.

And then this season of one holiday after another hit me. Bam. Roger loved holidays - any holiday. He especially loved it if it meant a special meal or some kind of grand treat.

Though I have never been a big one for the Halloween craziness, other than enjoying a typically full moon that time of year, Roger counted it as his October calendar date to stock up on his favorite candies. Chocolate - or peanut butter and chocolate. Protien, you know.

It seems that the holiday goes on forever sometimes. For the town party and costume parade, Emily put on her bunker coat. We discovered that she had grown a bit and now had high-water bunker pants.  Jacob dressed as the infamous.....Jacob.  (I call him yah-kob ....the infamous Hebrew)    And of course, every good firefighter needs a good fire dog.  OK, greyhounds are notoriously scared of very loud sounds and things startling them, but Iron was a good sport.

Kristin gets seriously into the action and likes to them their family adventures. The plan was for everyone to be first responders. October 2014 brought the big EBOLA scare to the world, so......Kristin and Jim were first responders on the Ebola front. Emily stuck with her 'mini-me' plan - little Ro-Ro and Jacob had planned to wear a bunker coat with Iron in one of Roger's tee shirts....with the fire dept logo, of course...and maybe some white powder and black spots.

Florida's October brought an unseasonable heat wave so there was no way that Jacob was going to suffer heat stroke and miss out on candy.  He decided that one thing that first responders like to do is eat and the other is that they work hard, sweat a lot, and have to keep their potassium balanced. This called for him to become a banana. (Potassium) and for Iron to turn into a hot dog.
Keep that dog away from the grill!


Like we always seem to do, we made it through another holiday. When we stop to think about the fun Roger brought to any celebration, it makes it hard to sit and mope around ....even though we still miss him terribly

Roger's Lesson:
Life is not always fun and games. If you don't enjoy the fun times, though, you will forget what fun looks like when you face the hard times.  Hang in there with family and anything you do will be fun.

Yes....that is definitely the way he lived.
And I'm sure he would be thrilled that I bought out the peanut butter cups in his memory.  And I don't even like peanut butter....or chocolate!

He liked them cold and crunchy!

And after all, first responders have to keep up their energy.

12-13-14

All in all it was a really sweet day. Breakfast at Dixie Cream, pedicures, perfectly practical presents.... Actually we dragged this birthday out for a couple of days. That's the way we do it - any time we can.

But, it wasn't the same. The week was so busy that we never had Daddy's famous steak and mashed potatoes.  Sometimes I wonder if it was that squeezing around my heart that kept me from it.

Karin was daddy's girl for sure! They had quite the bond and the older they got, the more alike they were in so many ways.

Well, except for fire. She never liked it. At. All.   He had respect, but not fear of it. He could tame it, bring it under control.

I think one of her peaceful places is his swing. It was his peaceful place.

Children are such a blessing. You love them so much, yet you also can love each differently. It is so remarkable the way each child is a unique blend of the parents. When Karin and I would 'butt heads" it was generally over the way we organized things, each of us OCD in a unique way. If Karin and Roger ever butted heads, it was because he woke up with his feet hitting the floor, lights on, action all around him.  She and I like it quiet until about 10 AM.  Soft awakening, we call it.

But, that was about it with butting heads. She and Roger were alike in so many ways. Practically perfect in almost every way, so to speak.

I'm sure this day was particularly hard for her.  He was one of her very best friends, her protector, her provider of wise advice. And they loved sharing their coffee together!

And though in the early days of our lives together, he felt that being an 'only child' was practically perfection and would have been perfectly satisfied with only one child. Ah....then Karin arrived and he learned what perfection for him was really all about.  Sisters who love each other deeply and are best friends in the very best way....he could never have asked for more.   Daughters who loved spending time with him anytime, anywhere.  What a life! What a blessing!

I realized today that it is 12-13-14. For 'numbers people' those things are fun. Fun, because they don't roll around so often. There will never be another in our lifetime.  Lucky Friday the 13th, is what we always called Karin's birthday.

I'm not sure we can call 12-13-14 a lucky day, but for sure, we can call it a unique one. Unique because there won't be another. She will never have to face another 'first' birthday without her daddy here with us - but hopefully can remember that we carried on his tradition of making any day that is a special day, special forever.

Thank you Lord, for the blessing of Karin. Forever young. Forever joyful. Forever trusting you for what is best and wonderful in her life. Even if we still can't understand it.

Roger's Lesson:  I bet he is wondering how I am going to ever pull of steak and mashed potatoes. (AKA, a little potato with your butter).....but I know we were remembered....we got a shield penny with our Panera soup!  He would tell us to keep making special days special!

Special forever. Just like him. Just like her.  Just like 12-13-14

Wasp Spray to the Rescue!

I already posted this photo on FB - it is creepy.  I did not post much of the story.

I know there has to be a lesson in this. Perhaps it will become evident!

I've always been one of those 'behind the scenes' people. I don't like to be on stage. I don't like to be the one who rescues. I don't like to come in and save the day. I would rather watch.

But sometimes......

I was headed out somewhere and had been in the bathroom getting all dolled up for some reason or another.

We have almost always had a 'seat down' rule in our home - and most of the time, lid down too.

As I breezed back into the bedroom to grab a scarf, I heard this sound....'glub'... I guess.  It was loud and it did not sound normal.  The only place that watery kind of air bubble sound could have come from was l'toilette - so my first thought was ... oh no! don't overflow!

It was weird because it had not be recently used...but I did hear that sound!  As I reached over to close the lid, I saw a shadow. Weird. I backed next to the wall to get a side look and OH GLORY!   I slammed the lid and started flushing. Then I called Kristin.

This is what you do when you are alone and you have an emergency - you call a girl!
Then I ran to the garage to figure out something that would not let this thing get away until Jim could come and rescue me.

With heart a-racing, I slid my plastic pieces right under the rim of the seat, and just in case that thing had moved, I slid one between the seat and lid as well.   Then I carefully aimed the wasp spray under the seat and gave it a good old spray for good measure.   And I flushed some more.

Then Kristin called to check on me and told me to stop flushing or I would stop up the pipes. OK. Practical advice.

Jim was up to his eyeballs in projects and would hurry on over when he could.  I sealed up the bathroom.

It was quite the thing when he arrived. He calmly strolled in - with super long plier tool in hand and set out to solve the problem.  I think he was silently laughing at me, thinking that perhaps there was really nothing much there, but his new job is to protect me, and so he rose to the occasion!

Fearlessly, he laughed at my plastic....and moved it away.

Thankfully, I was a fast thinker, phone in hand, and I captured the evidence!
Then I stood guard, with wasp spray in hand (I killed a bat in my kitchen with wasp spray once!)

He with his pliers and I with my spray .....that could be a poem......

And he gently leaned forward, reached in, and   THE THING HOPPED!

Not being exactly sure how it happened, but I was almost immediately on the bedroom side of the bathroom door, which was now shut....and Jim was contained inside, with the intruder.

At least I had given him a big zip lock baggie for the evidence. Dead evidence, I hoped!

Coaxing -   (He actually sounded a lot like Roger would have)  "Come on, jump in the bag...you can do it...try again....come on, in the bag....I will set you free, just jump in the bag"

I kept the spray handy, just in case!

In due time, he emerged, intruder in hand. Not dead enough for me.

I asked him how he could hold it that way and he said ' because I am not afraid of frogs.'

And he actually did set the darned thing free - across the street - in the woods.

Roger's Lesson:   Jim can handle it.  He promised you one day that if you were ever left alone, then he would care for you in the manner in which you were accustomed. He did it. I knew he would. 

Indeed.  And thank you, Jim.

Now if you can figure out how that thing got into l'toilette in the first place.....

It will not be that funny if I have a heart attack because there is a frog on my back side.

At least, not funny to me. There has to be a better way to depart.



I am still at a loss for what the spiritual lesson might be in this one.
Maybe it is an example of what the plague of frogs might be like - Heaven help us! Repent, America!     Maybe it is yet another example of how God has the right person on hand when a rescue is needed.  Perhaps, God is giving me nine lives - I used up about three on this little episode.
Perhaps I need to look and pray before I sit.  I will probably always do that now!

Brrr

It was really hard not to cry through the day.   I woke up cold.  I got colder throughout the day.

This was one of Roger's FAVORITE days of the year.

The FIRST cold snap of the season.

He loved that he got to go out and drag wood to the house and shove it in the fireplace.   He loved going to the store to buy the fixin's for Chili.

He loved dragging out that big ole pot and watching me fill it up.  It was never a rare thing to have a pot of chili that included a mere five pounds of meat.  And then, my secret recipe.

If the cold snap came on a Saturday, it was chili and football. If it was during the week, it was chili and Fox - all day, all night.  It was a tradition.

And loved a little chili and a roaring big fire.

This year - two pounds of meat in that big ole pot.  No fire.  The Duke energy audit guy told me that he closed the flue.  I have no idea what or where a flue is, but I do know that it blocks a chimney and all of the smoke will go into the house.   Since I have no firefighter on duty now, I just figured it was a good idea to leave the fire part of the tradition alone.

I also have not turned on the heater.  I have never turned on the heater without a firefighter in the house. A girl has to be prepared. It always smells like something is on fire the first time you turn on the heater. Freaks me out.

Roger's Lesson:  He would tell me that I learned well about the fireplace and the heater. He would be happy that we kept his tradition, even without the football or Fox.  Chilly weather reminds us that family is so important because it is that warmth that we get from the love that we have for each other that can carry us through those cold and lonely times. 

I am blessed. I have family right here and if I need that flue open - Jim will take care of it for me.
I'm not quite cold enough yet for that heater, and I am not sure that I will brave a roaring fire without someone here to rescue me.  (I can light a mean fire though -- it is extinguishing it that is hard.)

And yes - memories of the last 40 'first coldsnap' days still warm my heart.

It will never be the same - but God has blessed me with a family and friends that provide plenty of warmth - the love you forever kind.

What's the Password?

It is a book report. I love creative teachers who mix it up and don't make every report a written one.

Children are pretty creative by nature and most of the time, if you just teach them to execute things neatly, their ideas come across very effectively.

Yes, I am one of those - make it neat - art teachers.
Why?  If you can't communicate effectively, then no one 'gets' your creative ideas.  It only takes a little extra time to be neat, to clear out the clutter, to make your thoughts clear.

Emily loves to 'slap that paint on' but is a good student and is beginning to learn that efficient work means keeping the paint on the tips of the brush, as opposed to scooping it onto the brush - and the table - and her arms, etc.

She is really good with glue. Foam brushes! Dream material! She has been using those for years!

And glitter! EVERYTHING is better with glitter - a girl has to add a bit of bling!

She is not as fond of the hot glue, but sometimes, that is what it takes.

Her photo is just for Ro-Ro.  He had a nickname for her and she loved it.  She was his little
"Pumpkinhead"         -   I don't really know where that came from except that when she was little, he would call her 'pumpkin'....kind of like 'Punky' - family name, I guess!!

Later it evolved into pumpkinhead. Papa used to call Kristin and Karin 'capusta-head'.  I figure it must be one of those Polish things.   (Better than Kielbasa head, I suppose)

Roger's Lesson:  Pick a name no one else would use - and then, because it is really different, use it as your password. You'll always remember it and no one else will figure it out.  Including the wifey!
"PumpkinheadEmily"

And because all passwords should be private, be sure to write it on a paper and leave it in your locker at work.    Oh Roger, technology and you.....I wonder if there is technology in Heaven.....

I suppose not.
Perfect for you!

Light it up!

Roger loved holidays and what the kids created from those pumpkins he delivered the first of October - or September, if they arrived early. 

Their tradition continued. Pumpkin carving in the park with friends. Potluck dinner. Good fun.

We never did look at Halloween as this spooky time of year - in fact, I don't even remember doing trick or treat with the girls when they were small.  In theory, it was all about the candy, so we would just go to the store 'the day after' and I let them buy whatever they wanted at 75% off.


I guess halloween is good for getting your sugar fix, and being sick enough to not want more sugar for a good long while! 

I think about those lit pumpkins much like the world we live in.  They can be carved in funny or even cute or nice ways - or even scary ways, but nice or not, they are still dark.  When the world grows dark around them and you pop a light inside, it illuminates whatever surrounds it.   Hopefully what you see is wonderful and nice.  Often it is not, and very often you can't really tell the difference. 

The light that shines from the inside, the true light - the one illuminating your soul - is really only evident to Jesus. Hopefully, it is his light and love shining from within you.  Hopefully your life is so transparent that people don't have to wonder what it is that makes that light within you shine. 

Roger liked halloween because of all the chocolate left in the bowl.  

He also liked those 75% off deals I used to find - if they involved chocolate.

Roger's Lesson:  Don't take halloween too seriously - keep in mind that there is darkness in this world, and know of it but don't be part of it - but at the same time, let that light within you shine and make a difference.  And drop off any chocolate you don't want. 

And that...is my halloween story - another year of creative carving. 

You've gotta VOTE!

Our Precinct 129 first string wasn't here for this election. He surely was missed though.

You have to know your strengths. Roger's strength was meeting new people, talking about what interested them, and talking about his favorite statesman. Yes, Statesman.  

Roger did not have a zillion interests in life like I tend to do - he loved a few things -

Faith - Family - Friends - Politics ....yes, and sports. 

He had this unique take on politics, not like too many other people I have ever known. 

He not only knew the issues, but the candidates and quite often what motivated them.

And when he put his support behind someone, he was all in.

He did not do this often.

He always did it for Dan Webster. 

He always believed that Dan would make a difference, and indeed, he has.

He does not make a difference in that - 'he point the camera this way and see what I have done' kind of way. 

No, he makes a difference because he cares about people, but he cares more about eternity. 

He lives his life in an honorable way, and he evaluates issues and makes moral and responsible decisions.

And he listens. 

Today was one of those 'push through' kind of days for me. For all of us, I suppose. 

It was REALLY hard to go to the polls and vote without Roger by my side - or reminding me that it is really good to have a voting number no higher than the teens. (OK, I had 102 or something like that, but I voted!)

It was REALLY hard to put my Webster signs in the appointed place where he always had his Dunkin' Donuts coffee - or Allen's on this occasion.  It was wonderful to have people come by and recall that this was his spot - and even nicer when they happened to know that we went together. 

I did not stand up and chat all day like Roger did, but I did say "first bubble on your ballot!" a lot.  And during the afternoon when traffic got slow - I found a wifi connection. He would NEVER have done that!

And I did bug Karen often, though not as often as he did, to keep up with the count and the voting percentage for the Precinct 129 turnout. 

And I made it until 6:30 and I have not fallen apart.  

And I think I will make it just fine - because there is a party at the end - and I just know that our man Dan is going to go back to DC and work on our behalf to make this country strong again. And we will rightfully celebrate.

And yes, I know he can't do it alone, but I fully believe that his influence and the fact that he cares more about souls than about stuff is beginning to change the hearts of those in office. And I believe that God can and will change this nation for the better if the hearts of men are changed for the better. 

Roger's Lesson:
Push through. Do what is right to do, and keep doing it.  Stand up for those who do right and assist where you can.


I think he would be happy with us on this election day. 

Pick a team, friends and family - just be sure you know what your chosen leader believes and where he is leading you! 

Happy Election Day. God Bless America! 

A Little Pain?

Country road, country road, take me back, where I belong.......

Ok, that song is not exactly about Georgia, nor do I belong there anymore, but I did have a lot of fun going down those old country roads.

There is something very interesting - even emotional at times - about stepping back into your past. On that Georgia trip, Lila and I missed a number of things we were aiming for (like visiting Aunt Sara - one of our main objectives) - but the journey took us down some interesting paths as well.  Let's just say that between the two of us having "GPS' systems on our phones, they somehow did not agree most of the time, and well ----all roads lead somewhere!

Actually, something I have always wanted to do was to take a trip and 'get lost' and see where it took me. This was not planned, of course, but though we were never too far off track, we wandered, for sure!

Get lost. I'm not sure I ever got lost with Roger. He has a pretty innate sense of direction. Now there were plenty of times when I would tell him that he was lost, but he would figure it out. 

On our journey home, after we had pretty much outrun the oncoming storm, we headed through Middle Georgia.  Highway 41 DOES parallel I-75, right?     Well, in theory it does. 

We made it most of the way and ended up at this 'intersection from Hell' in Ft. Valley.  I remembered this thing from my childhood - it was under major construction this time. This thing was like a four-way stop with traffic lights and stop signs and about 6 roads that intersected.  

One thing we learned was that Georgia road signs are nothing like Florida road signs - not like Central Florida road signs anyway - THANK YOU DISNEY FOR SPOILING US!  You might find road signs overhead, on the side of a road, on a corner, behind a bush - and they are almost simply highway NUMBERS.   And there could be five at one location.  And there are no names of streets so much of the time.

All I can say is....GLORY! Someone help me! Someone give me a paper road map!

After visiting the 'intersection from Hell' about three times, we finally headed down what we were confident was the correct highway - only half a block from the 'previous highway" we tried, mind you.  We drove happily along until we came upon a sign that said "Andersonville Trail" and Montezuma.  Now, my Georgia geography might be a little rusty, but something told me this was way south of Ft. Valley and Warner Robbins - and Aunt Sara! 

Since late afternoon was approaching and children were going to be tracking us down, we kept going south. Next time, Aunt Sara! Hang in there! 

But along the way, a lady needs a break every now and again, so imagine where the road led.....to cotton fields - in full bloom.  I just could not resist the photo op. 

Roger's Lesson:  If you REALLY think you are lost, then find a fire station and they can help you EVERY time.  But don't be too quick to get back on the short route, because you might miss an adventure. 

Up close and personal - this is cotton before it is a cotton ball or a garment.  I grew up thinking that cotton was soft and fluffy. 

Not so.

On one trip to the farm, my parent's four children must have been a fussing mess because I remember daddy pulling off the side of the road and saying - 'get out' -  and he made us pick cotton. It was on grandaddy's farm, so it was ok. He made us pick it - I remember it being for a whole day in the blistering sun, but I bet it was only for about 10 minutes.  I can remember crying and pulling thorny things out of my hands. I also remember him talking to us about hard work being a good cure for fussing.  Some time later, in history class, when I began to learn about the south and the "cotton pickers" - I had a real appreciation for what they were talking about. I also gained a great appreciation for the industrial revolution, emerging technology, and more than anything else, Spirituals -as in music.   Just think about it. Maybe that will be another post for another day.  

No, cotton is not soft when it grows on a plant, and no, it does not offer ONLY A LITTLE pain! 

Cotton is good, but you don't get the final product without great sacrifice by someone. 
That's kind of like salvation, isn't it. The final product is amazing, but the sacrifice, by someone other than yourself was pretty brutal. That should make one appreciate the value of salvation even more. 

Catfish Joe

Catfish. These things are U.G.L.Y.  and I remember when Roger and Kristin went fishing and caught a really big one.  I'm so glad they did not feel compelled to stuff it! 

This is Joe's catfish. ONE of Joe's catfish. My uncle has a beautiful place up on Lake Sinclair  (in GA) and goes down to his dock every evening as the sun goes down and feeds his catfish. I guess they hear him coming and show up - or they have this internal timing - or something. It was quite the site to behold. 

Joe - my mom's baby brother. He is less than 20 years older than me and when I was little, I was IN LOVE with him!  Isn't it great to have an uncle like that?  I did not know it then, but I can look back now and see how much he influenced me about the ways a lady should be treated.   He has this amazing, genteel way of speaking. If he ever raised his voice - well I can't even imagine it. The tone of his voice is just soft and nice and that of a real Southern Gentleman. You don't find those so much anymore.  

That crazy drive through Atlanta was so worth it - just to get to see family again. Most of the time I fly OVER Georgia. It's hard to get back to your roots that way. 

Joe and Frank were brothers - and kindred spirits too. That was so special, because my mom and her sister were kindred spirits like that. It is quite something to be able to spend time with another person and not even have to talk, but to just really enjoy that time together. 

Roger and I sat in the swing a lot and just enjoyed time together.  I sat there more often when it was not too hot, nor too cold, nor too buggy - often enough, and yet now I look back and it was not nearly enough. 

Roger missed out. He missed out because he never answered Joe's call to come up for a visit. The two of them would have had quite a swell time together too! They liked so many of the same things.
One thing that I hope that I can always remember to do is to answer the call to 'come visit' - and to say 'come visit.'   I hope that I don't get so wrapped up in the busy-ness of life ever again, that I 'mean to' get around to it.

Roger's Lesson:
I think he would tell me to go where my heart leads me - and if it is on the road to Georgia - then do it. Yes, I know he would say that I should not just sit home and wait until it is my turn to enter Heaven. He would say to live and enjoy those you love until God calls you home. 

When I see a beautiful sunset over Lake Butler, I am going to remember this sunset over Lake Lanier and that wonderful time I spent with Joe and Fran (and Carole Anne too!)

And thanks Lila, for encouraging me along the way. We might have taken the long way around much of the time, but it was a fun Georgia journey! 

I still won't eat them, but those olde ugly catfish will always bring back good memories!