There are things in this life that you come to really love. Those winter nights when it was so cold...like 50....and you just have to have some serious warmth in the house.
The fragrance of smoke, which is unlike any other when it is a fire that you love, and not one that most firefighters have to attack. Even better if you can smell the pine!
The sound of crackling, sometimes from dry wood, sometimes the sizzling of green wood. The whizzy sound that can be heard when a pinecone turns red like a rocket.
The colors of warmth - there is a reason that reds, yellows, oranges are called warm colors on the color wheel - the colors of fire. Fire creates warmth.
The warmth of the bricks and the feeling that creeps across your backs when you sit really close, but not too close, to the flames.
And if you are not really, really careful, the taste of the gritty substance in the air around you.
Yes, that would be ash.
Even that layer of what I called dust, that seemed to settle around me for the last year was not enough to get me to remove the ash. It was layers of ash, actually, which unless stirred up - remained not too heavy.
Until I stirred it up. And stirring it up was the most difficult of exercises this year. I have cleaned out many a fireplace - well, thirty six years of them at this location. Sometimes several times during a season, for a real live fire in a real wood-burning fireplace was one of Roger's great loves.
Is is a firefighter thing? Roger could build a mean fire, to be sure. He was never one for chopping that wood into nice tidy logs. The fact that the woodpile was organized can be credited to....well, not Roger. He humored me often enough and rotated the pile as I encouraged him along, many a time. It never did seem to bother him when the fire was roaring and little critters started scurrying toward the cooler temperatures. He would go after them and often set them free. Except the scorpion looking things - he would let them fry. He even had the ability to get a four foot long log into the fireplace. Craziness!
We would often have an absolutely huge (diameter) log in the fireplace and it could burn for an entire day. He would patiently rotate it throughout the day so it would burn evenly - and not fall out of the fireplace! I actually grew to love to watch the embers dying down quietly throughout the night, and I was never particularly afraid of the damage they could do. I had my own personal firefighter in the house.
Kristin loves the great outdoors, camping, fire pits, and all of that rustic kind of stuff. Karin does not like the open flame. Not. At. All. If I light a candle, she blows it out. OK, I tend to walk away from it often enough, so I get her point. I do light it again though. It is the fragrance that goes with the flame that moves me. I can't figure out how they both get that from Roger. One loves the flame, the other wants it out. He embraced both.
Roger's Lesson: Fire - it brings warmth and life and growth, but it has to be controlled in order to be useful. Out of control, it brings disaster. Likewise, the fire - the tough times in life do bring growth, if you allow your Maker to direct the flame. Out of control, doing things your own way - that almost always is the path to disaster. You better understand the flame.
February 9th, 2014 was the last time there was a flaming fire in our fireplace. I never could bring myself to have a fire without my firefighter near by. The ash stayed, but not the flame. But like all things, there is a time when you have to get a grip on it and put things in their place. I saved the ash. It will go in my garden where it will help things to grow. The only new thing is that where he used to tote it out to my garden, this year I will do it by myself. Roger would have wanted things - and people - to keep on growing. He would not have wanted to flame to grow cold and growth to wither away.
It is kind of hard looking into that nicely cleaned fireplace. I'll find something creative to put there, but I can't foresee a time when I will build a fire in it again. I think that is just going to have to be one of those memories that remains in my heart and soul. It is something I am not willing, at least right now, to share with anyone else.
Winter is gone and spring has arrived. The last chill of the year is behind us and the full moon tells me that it is time to focus on things that are far more important than the fireplace ash. First full moon AFTER the Vernal (Spring) Equinox (day and night = same length) - Easter. ( April 4 is the first full moon after the equinox on March 20 - Easter is April 5 this year!
We are now in what is known as "Holy Week" where our attention should be on the one who made the most remarkable difference in this place we call earth - our world. By the end of the week we will be recalling and hopefully focusing on the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We all know the story, but do we think about His walk on this earth? Do we think about what it means to 'walk through the flames of hell?" - Jesus broke that barrier for us.
Can we even imagine what it could be like to be in the midst of the fiery flames - like firefighters were when Florida was on fire - wildfires of 1998 - Roger was in the midst of that, so in a way, he understood being surrounded by flames where I can not possibly understand.
When we were concerned about his safety, Roger often reminded us that he had the right equipment, the right protection, the understanding of fire -the danger - what feeds it (Heat - Fuel - Oxygen) And that if you take any one of them away, the fire will go out. But, the danger is always there and it can consume you. Three elements to create fire. Three. Trinity. Father - Son - Holy Spirit - to quench it, that fire that can consume your soul.
And in the end, ashes to ashes - dust to dust, what will it be worth?
Well, for us, those ashes are evidence of an earthly body, but the flame can not consume the soul. It is eternal. Eternal, living in one place or the other. Two choices. Flames of earth are bad enough as far as I am concerned. I am ever so thankful that Jesus paid the price so that we don't have to endure the flames of hell for eternity. Of course, free choice plays into that decision as well. It's a gift, but you have to accept it.
Firefighters - a very unique and interesting life - and so connected to eternity!
Roger taught us not to be afraid of the flames, but to respect them, and to know how to quench them. And he was talking about a whole lot more than the flames that we can see, and hear, and smell, and taste and feel.
Thanks Roger, for the ashes you left behind. I will forever remember the warmth and beauty of those fires you built to keep our home cozy. I will also remember that while those same ashes will feed my garden and create growth - your ash, your life, will remain because your soul can not die. It is secure in Christ. Roger's ashes - just ash. Roger's soul - eternal.
No comments:
Post a Comment