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June 1, 2015

You place it on the calendar, and you wait. Sometimes the waiting seems like an eternity. This time, I decided to just let it be a date on the calendar, yet another in the long line of doctor's appointments.

It was over a week between the test and the results.  Remarkably, I did not stress this time. I did not spend time wondering, or fretting. I just trusted.
We - so many family and friends, and many whom I do not even know - have asked God's favor regarding my health. We have prayed specifically for Him to place a hedge of protection around organs, brain, marrow, spinal cord. We have prayed that He will show Himself more powerful than this thing called "cancer."  Indeed, we have not allowed it to be called 'the big c" for we know that if anything - anyone is BIG, it is God and that the BIG C,  is Christ.

It has been a remarkable journey. Today - the results.  Today, I felt pretty great walking into that office, very little pain and very isolated at that.  My doctor is just wonderful, he has this OCD level that I just LOVE! Attention to detail - and he explains things in normal person language. God blessed us with him. A perfect match with my Oncologist!

So - what did the tests say? He said the X-rays looked good. (I thought so too, but I had no clue what I should be looking for!)  Of course my bones still need attention - basically my walking stick will be my friend for a couple of more years. It is that balance thing. Watching out for weight bearing, not pushing things when I feel tired or too achey, paying attention to walking surfaces. Yes - paying attention. He said that it is the little things, the normal things in life that will take you down and delay the healing, so pay attention where you step.  (use those handicap curb-less crossings, stay off the stairs, don't ride bikes)  

The cancer - he smiled. He indicated that 'he got it' - which I am sure makes him feel like it was a great day to come to work.

Does that mean that every cell is gone? Not likely. I have already been told that this is a game, including a mind game, and that cancer cells are smart and you have to stay ahead of them. Not curable, but manageable, they call it.

That is ok. He said 'walking stick for two years' - back in January, we were thinking this journey would be only months.  I'll take two years!

Roger's Lesson:  Go ahead and take those two years and use them well, but also believe for more. Believe you'll be here, with or without that walking stick, at 90.  God numbers your days, so live each one, one at a time, each one for Him - and it won't matter if it is 9 days or 90 years.

And that is what I have determined to do.  Of course, I still don't love the days when I seem to crash and do nothing much but rest for the day, yet, those days seem to come after I have had a very full day.  I don't let that bother me as much these days.

I've also stopped fretting or even having too much of an opinion on the way the world - mankind- is making such a mess of what God created.  Some days it seems like those wonderful trumpets and the exciting happenings in the Eastern Skies will take place momentarily - and then other days, it seems like just another ordinary day.

But our days are not meant to be ordinary. If we can't be out there on the front lines of what ever we feel like we are supposed to be doing, I have found that it is very very effective - and likely, most effective - to use that quiet and restful time God has offered, to just pray for others and their needs.  Needs are all around - people we know, and people we do not know. Here, and around the world.

And no matter where you find yourself - there is always someone in a far worse predicament.
So - I thank all of those who have been praying with me - for this is not something you fight alone.

I have also found that I hope the journey will be a long one, for that means that cancer will not have won, even if it is only managed but not cured.

But honestly - I still keep hoping that I will get to hear that trumpet sound  - and if it is only days or weeks or months away - that is fine by me too!

Yet,  I don't want to find myself just sitting around and waiting - I still want to be out there doing what God has left for me - fulfilling the purpose that only He determines - and the only one that really counts.

And today, I feel like God showed me that there still is so much more.  So many more days to know Him more, before I meet Him face to face.

It's been a really good day!