Sometimes it is best to just NOT go surfing around the internet to try to figure out what all of the medical terms mean. Sometimes - most times - it is better to just pray and then trust.
My outlook is pretty positive. Our days are numbered - for all of us - the interesting part is the journey and the decisions we make until that final day.
God has blessed and placed me with such amazing doctors. I feel confident in their decisions. They do not feel threatened if I suggest another opinion, nor if I ask way too many questions.
When preparing for, and being very still during the latest MRI, I asked God to let them see everything that they needed to see - and more than that, to reveal clearly anything that needed to be revealed, whether it was something they previously missed, or if it was something new.
Generalized prayer requests don't work for me. I guess I talk too much. But - God answered, just like He always does.
Sometimes the answer is not what we really want to hear, but it is the answer we need to hear.
The result was a spot on my spine that really needed attention. I could 'wait and see' or I could deal with it. Failing to deal with it might mean that the vertebrae could compress. I know lots of people with those herniated discs and they do not like them. I would rather not go there, so I am thankful that God revealed something that could be dealt with before something worse happened.
Was this here before? I don't know. Is it a new growth? I don't know that either. I guess it does not really matter at the moment. First up - set up more radiation. Get that joker!
So, here I sit, eagerly planning a little trip out of town and now this.
Yes....this is more important. But - the neat thing is that God must see both as important because BELIEVE IT OR NOT - there are just enough days between now and my flight to get the job done!
And I mean ....EXACTLY...the right amount of days! Only God can arrange this kind of stuff.
And the internet searches? Oh my, they are mostly discouraging - these forums I believe they are called. Once in a while you run across one person that is super encouraging and says things like ---
* PLEASE do not read statistics - you are not a statistic
* PLEASE pay attention to what you put in your body - help it out - give it good stuff
* PLEASE keep the faith for it is the only thing that makes the journey worth the fight.
Roger's Lesson: Yes, the last one is what he would have said every day - Keep the faith, keep fighting, keep believing that God has more living for you to do, but pay attention to what you focus on.
I know that Roger would have been my biggest cheerleader. I am equally confident that he would not have been shoving green liquids at me though. He would suggest steak every night! Good protein, sweetie!
But, I like to chew my greens and I do eat mostly healthy - though like anything I have my weak moments too. One thing God has richly blessed me with is many many cheerleaders who inspire me, encourage me, and have the most positive outlooks - and they pray specifically for my needs. And that is just the most incredible thing.
Today I scanned those statistics and said - eh. God's got this.
For the long or the short of it - God's got this figured out already so my energies can be used elsewhere.
My purpose that I want to see fulfilled?
Most days I question that too. I hope it has something to do with encouraging others in the faith.
If I live with this stuff every day for the rest of my life, that's ok - as long as I don't give up the faith that is so precious to me. We all live with something - and most of the junk we live with, we do to ourselves in one way or another, I suppose.
And God's statistics are the only ones I really care about, though I do hope He has numbered quite a few more days on my life calendar!
I can't seem to choke down the green liquids, but I will go eat some fresh berries.
I'll look at the whipped cream can, but skip it this time.
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