These are moments that shake the center of your universe and make you wonder about life and your significance. These are moments when time sort of stands still. These are National moments - in a country we love.
I was in the middle of an art class on 9-11, when the Superintendent came in and told us what happened. Back in the day, we did not have Apple TV in those TMA classrooms. We had clunky computers and the students were generally the only ones who could figure out how to get to the internet and a news channel. That sounds very weird in itself. And so we watched, in horror. We prayed, we tried to focus on something normal, but all of a sudden, nothing was normal any more.
Roger was busy with a 'lock down' if I recall. Certainly with NYC, the Pentagon, and potentially the Capitol as targets - KSC could have been a likely target too and those who were called to serve and protect did just that. They jumped into action. They prepared for the worst.
This was the story of Roger's life. He was probably the 'most prepared' person I ever knew. He would come in from work and set up his uniform for the next shift - two days away. He took care of most things on a daily basis, so nothing was left unfinished. (well, except for yard work - but he picked up limbs as soon as they dropped from the trees)
I guess it always seemed that this was a firefighter way of living, but now, I see that it was really so much more. He really lived in such a way that he expected that each breath or at least each 'emergency' might be his last. He was prepared for almost anything. Even the stuff in the trunk of his car showed me that he could have handled almost any emergency he came upon. And he often did.
There is a lot of reflecting to be done today, on 9-11. Roger would have been reflecting and mentioning a lot of insightful things. Lke.....This day is much more than a memory of what happened at the World Trade Center Towers. It is a reminder of the evil that can be thought of in the minds of men, and then carried out. It should be a reminder that there is good and there is evil - only two sides - and we should reflect on where we have chosen to give our allegiance. Do we follow blindly, or do we think about the choices we make and whom we follow?
Roger would so often say that really nice people pick really wrong philosophies on life which tend lead them to really self centered and wrong decisions, even though they are really nice people. Reflecting back, I am reminded of how much Roger studied the Middle East and The Bible. He always felt like America had some type of attack coming, though he never did exactly put his finger on it. He had a way of picking out those important things in the course of human events that would have some significance in the future. Often they were not the things that would come to our minds.
And he did not think that 9.11.2001 was the end of it all.
He felt deeply the sacrifice that those FDNY firefighters made in 2001. He never forgot what they left behind in order to try to save the lives of others. I suppose he really tried to prepare us to be the 'left behind' ones, because there is no doubt that he would have been the first to head into a burning building to save a life. I was always prepared to lose him during an emergency situation at KSC, but not so much on a beautiful sunny day off.
Firefighters - a special breed of man, to be sure!
Roger's Lesson: We are all here for a purpose. Love those whom God placed in your life, but also remember that life is bigger than the relationships on earth. Look up. Pay attention to your relationship with God, for that is the one that matters the most. If you take care of the vertical relationship, the horizontal ones will work out.
And those towers of light that we see on Sept 11 will always remind me of that. They draw my eyes up into the Heavens. They make me think about God. They make me think about the sacrifice that He gave - the life of His Son - for me. For you. They remind me that even in the depths of despair and in the horrific parts of life, He has still got it under control.
I think about all of the books Roger read - and how we talked so much about different religions and different philosophies on living. I think about how he always brought it down to one simple truth - it is not about religion, it is about relationship. Of all the ways of living - Jesus is the only one who lived and died, but even more, rose again - to show us that this life is not the end of it all. There is so much more that is wonderful, but only if you have that relationship with Him. Two sides. Good. Evil. Heaven. Hell. You get to pick your eternal home, but not on your own terms.
Back on Sept 11, 2001 we felt like America might be finally 'getting it' once again. We felt like this awful evil that took place might be able, by the grace of God, to be that re-awakening of what life was really all about. For a while, it seemed like dependence on God, love of country, patriotism - like they had all returned. Thirteen years out though, I am aware of a lot of changes a lot of people made in their lives, but as Roger would say - evil never went away and it never will. In many ways, it seems like evil is even more evil and surrounds us more than ever before.
Yet, God is still in control. Even when there are days in my life which are not 'national moments,' I know they are life changing moments. I will always remember the events as they took place on February 10. It was an ordinary day, a beautiful day, just as it was on 9-11-2001.
But in an instant, things changed in my life and in the life of my family, and for so many of our friends. We were so un-prepared to receive that call. 2.10.14. We will not forget.
But Roger. Roger was prepared. He was prepared to depart at any moment, and not due to illness. He was prepared because He knew that God had numbered his days, and for the long or the short of it, he was ready to spend eternity with Christ.
He lived his life as if those 'towers of light' were in his path each day. His focus was upward.
Vertical relationship. And he surely would be thrilled if every reader of his story had that same relationship, because "it's not about religion, it is about relationship."
Roger - you were indeed my strong tower while you were here - and Jesus, Our strong tower will get me through until I see you again. I'm so blessed to have so many good memories.
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