Memorial-FL State Fire College

Sometimes we put ourselves into 'anxiety mode' when it is so very unnecessary. Part of it is that fear of the unknown, whether we admit it or not. Part of it is a fear that we won't be able to have control over our own emotions. Anxiety. Not good for the soul - and mostly a real waste of time. 

Even when you know that Jesus will carry you through, anxiety fights its way in. It is really hard to beat back sometimes. 


This date, October 3, has been on the calendar for a while - and yet I kept it in the back of my mind.

This week, it seemed to be all I could think about, so much so that I could not seem to complete a single task during the week.

Perhaps I was trying to prepare myself. Perhaps I was not sure that I could be 'in control' of my emotions. Perhaps I was exhausted with 'emotion' and just did not want to face up to another round of tears. Who knows?  I did put myself through a fair amount of unnecessary stress though.

I found it interesting that even with praying that God would see me through - and even knowing that He would - I remained anxious. Perhaps I failed to ask Him to calm my anxious soul.

As Friday drew nearer, I calmed down a bit. I knew God would get me through because He had done it before. I knew that if I focused on the big picture and on the way firefighters care so deeply about each other, and not on my personal loss, I would be ok.

Indeed, a lot was the fear of the unknown. I'm a bit of a control freak. I accept that. I try to let go, but sometimes, it is just so hard. This was not my event, I was only the guest. And yet, that unknown was almost terrifying and yet also so glorifying to God and so uplifting and honoring.

The honor guard was amazing and we had our own personal member of the honor guard who stayed with us all day. These men and women do this on top of all of their other duties and all expenses involved are paid by them, not by their departments. They do this from the depths of their hearts.

Perhaps I was concerned that hearing the bagpipes again would be too much like the day of Roger's funeral. They are always so soulful, so mournful, and yet, I asked God to help me to hear His promises in that music, and indeed He did that day. There were 30 bagpipes playing in that guard...it was amazing! I have an entirely new appreciation for the bagpipes now. And the music did take me back to those last moments at the cemetery - those moments where all the formality was complete and I could hear off in the distance, the lone bagpiper playing  "It is Well with my Soul" -  it was for Roger, and yes, it is for me.  The bagpipes now remind me of the love we have for each other on earth and the hope of eternity and that eternal joy we will have with Christ. Totally new perspective.

The pipes, the drums, the flags, the uniform corp standing at attention - and even the military firefighters in camo.  All of it was done with such precision, such honor, such caring.  To see so many men and women in their dress attire is not something we typically see among first responders. They are typically dressed to run out to assist in an emergency. Today they honored those who gave their lives for others. 

It was so wonderful to have some very special friends with us for the day as well. People who were special in Roger's life, and are in ours.  And it was unexpected and special to have Rick "Chief" sitting beside me like he did in February.  Special because he was not much more than a 'young kid' when Roger told him that he needed to come to KSC, though he was happy where he was.  Yet, he 'obeyed' this older man. He served with him, and Roger loved working with Rick.  I always told Roger that Rick was like the son he never had. And Roger was so proud of him.  And I am so blessed to have had him by my side. (Thanks, Sheila!)   He has that same strength and confidence - and humility that Roger had. And a true servant's heart. I know this has been a hard few months for him, but God has made him stronger and wiser through it all. 

Steve and Roger shared that same laid back demeanor, but were the first to jump into action when action was needed. I wonder if either of them ever rested when they were in a crowd. 

 Ryan is that 'young one' that Roger had his eye on. He saw great things for Ryan - called by God into the fire service after 9-11 events - Roger saw that servant's heart in him from the time he was a wee child. It makes me really sad that Roger isn't here to enjoy seeing Ryan grow in his career. 

And what can I say about a man who took time that could have used for far more impactful business to join us today. Dan and Roger had a unique relationship. They loved God and they loved politics and Roger loved to 'claim' Precinct 129 for Dan. I really hope Roger's faithful voters will come out when we ask this year. And Sandy - only children, the two of them.  They should have been siblings for the way they got along together! 

We really missed Karin, stuck in Paris, and yet, she is the only one that Roger would have said was doing the right thing and missing all the fanfare! He did not like the spotlight - at all. 

What would I do without our girls, our grandchildren, and Jim's strong and caring touch. God blesses so very much! 

I have to admit though, that seeing Roger's name 
"Roger D. Tome - 2014"  
etched in granite made this whole thing seem so very permanent.     I know it is permanent, but facing up to it by seeing it in granite is a very different feeling.

And at the same time, rubbing my fingers across his etched name, made me feel so blessed that I was his and he was mine.  

And there, not too far from Roger's name was  the name -            "G. Calvin Bookhardt - 1972"        Calvin Bookhardt is the man whom Roger called his mentor - back in the early days of his career as a firefighter - in Orlando.  Chief Bookhardt died in a fire in downtown Orlando when the building collapsed beneath him.     Roger and I had not been dating for very long when that happened, but I remember how much it shook him, and I remember how he was determined to live the kind of life that "Chief' lived - and to live it for a purpose that meant something in eternity.

I think Roger had that kind of influence on many young men, and for that I am very thankful. He invested in things that meant something for eternity.

 The wreath was in the shape of the Maltese Cross, which is symbolic for the fire department.  It was another touching ceremony.

Emily had not seen anything quite like this! 

     

Six firefighters were honored for 2014. 

Final Call Bell - a long tradition called
Four Fives - striking the bell five times
in a series of four sequences.
A working firefighter would never let a
bell ring that many times without responding.

The bell is ceremonial these days, but the
tradition goes back to the 1800's.
Hearing this at the burial was the hardest part of
my day on February 15. 

The recognition speeches about each firefighter were so heartwarming. All of the video files are too big to load, but I will try to figure something out.  The only mistake they made was about his military career - and I don't know how they messed that up. It was a small part of what he did in life and yet, as the military does, it was a part of what made him strong and courageous.  And patriotic! 

The end of the day was so much better than I ever might have dreamed. I met a young woman who lost her husband in a tragic way, yet is strong, and is raising their son to be strong and to live with purpose. There is a wonderful support system within the fire-family - and at the root of it all is that high calling to be wiling to put your life on the line in order to save another.

And I love the way the speaker talked about the boys in the fiery furnace and the way God protected them, and how the flames could not consume them, nor did they smell like smoke.   And of course, they compare it to the flames of hell - and how a firefighter sets out as well to see that none face the flames of hell.

What a message in today's America!

And Roger's Lesson:  He would say to skip all the fuss, but to live a life with purpose that means something in eternity. And that purpose is to stay away from the flames of hell. And that is your personal choice - but there are those who will stand in the gap and show you the way to an eternity you will want to embrace! 


Roger would not have been interested in the memorial at all, he did not like attention on himself, and he definitely did not like surprises. But -  I think he would have been pretty blessed to be named with his mentor, Chief G Calvin Bookhardt. And I think Chief would have been pretty proud of the life Roger chose to live.  I bet they of have a lot of catching up to do! 

You just never ever know who you influence in this life. But it surely is worth it to know you stood for something important.

Thanks, G Calvin, for influencing and investing in my man!

And thank you to the Florida State Fire Marshall and the wonderful people at the Florida State Fire College for putting together such a touching memorial. 

I will take you up on the offer to visit the campus in Ocala and spend some time at that memorial area. And when I need a lift in future years, I believe we will join you for another memorial celebration.  Sadly, it is always about a lives lost, but what greater love can you have than to be willing to give up your life to save another. A great calling, indeed. 

Florida State Fire College Memorial
NW Gainesville Road,  Ocala FL

And thanks Chief! I am not sure how she GAVE
you a puppy and then got you to buy it so she
could try to win more stuffed toys.
It's almost like Ro-Ro was there!