Gifts

You can't skip Christmas.

Even though I got behind on my posts, Christmas is just too important to say, "oh, well, I didn't record the memories."

I can't say that Christmas was easy this year.  I built up all of this apprehension about "The Day" starting as early as October.

How would I handle it? Would I be strong for my family? Would my faith hold strong, that God would carry me thorough?

Honestly, I really thought about skipping the whole thing and taking off for a hotel somewhere and just waiting it out. That was back in September and October.  Now I see that I was just afraid. Afraid that Roger's favorite time of the year would be just so much more than I could handle without him.

But wow - he has some pretty incredible children. They showed me that Christmas was not only his favorite time of the year, it was mine too. They showed me how I added the sparkle and bling.  (oh, yes, everything that just screams that this season is special)  They showed me how he loved it, but I added it.  And they wanted me to do it again.

We have this system - Karin likes unwrapping boxes, so we ditched the gift bags a few years ago. Kristin just likes the wrapping done, so we took that (and the cheapo paper) away from her a couple of years ago.  Karin and I are happy with our photos now. Each home has color themed gift wrap. See how beautiful it is at Kristin's.....and she is so agreeable because she never has to wrap a thing! LOVE IT!  And we like the abundance. Oh...thieves could take it all and it would not amount to much at a pawn shop....it is the boxes and bows we like....not the stuff.   Silly stuff, but fun gifts.....hot chocolate mix, swedish fish....you know, the delights of life!

Maybe it is good that I am writing about it in hind-sight. I can see it all more clearly now.

Where I/we sit today, I can see that God allowed me to work through this struggle within myself, and this struggle with my faith, because I would need more courage later.

But for this day - Christmas - I am so glad that He allowed me to decide to listen to the wisdom in my children and let them guide me.  The season was wonderful - well, as wonderful as was possible without Roger - but yes, wonderful and everything he would have loved. Time with family, time with friends, doing for others.  Quiet time gave me time to really focus on what Christ had done for me so many years ago, and also all that He has done for me in this very difficult past year.

He carried me through the saddest time in my life. He provided comfort in the most remarkable ways through people I knew and through people I barely knew. He showed Himself faithful and strong and everything I ever knew He was - but I have experienced it in a far different way than ever before in my life.

I am so blessed to have my family near me almost all the time. Rare in the transient world in which we live, to be sure. We share our joys and our sadness, and always have seemed to pull each other back to the joy of the moment, of the day, of our lives. Roger would have wanted it no other way, for he lived that way.  The girls are such an example of him.

So on this Christmas, when we reflect back on a year of such loss and grief, we can also stand strong and say that that little baby that we celebrate each year on the date 'designated' as the date of His birth  is like always, so much more than just a baby. More unique than being born in a manger. More important than just having a special star and shepherds and wise men come to Him.

Roger's Lesson:  Keep celebrating Christmas. It is always about CHRIST and not about you. Take the day and embrace it, embrace Him. He is as alive today as He was over 2000 years ago.  No other figure in all of history can claim that. No other figure has accomplished that.   And it is not just about Him on this day, but on every single day of the year.

And I know that - always have - but never have felt it as deeply as I did this year.

And those gifts - just another object lesson that I learned a long time ago.  I think we love the abundance of gifts because we love to think about the amazing gift that God gave to the world all those years ago, to allow His only Son to come to earth as flesh and bone....and that He not only came, but came for the purpose of dying so that we might all have the opportunity to have eternal life with Him.    To live, to die, to live forever.  

And the boxes - just ponder this.  God has amazing gifts and surprises, we call them blessings, all stacked up and ready for us.  Only we have to accept them in order to receive and enjoy them.  Some are huge blessings (like a new toy or gadget), and some are just the little things of everyday life, like a smile or a hug (like hot chocolate or swedish fish) but all are special.  How many do we leave at the tree (or at the cross) simply because we choose not to receive.  

But the greatest gift - ah, don't miss that one.  It is the gift of eternal life - available ONLY through a relationship with Jesus Christ.  And really, without that one....none of the others are really worth anything.  Don't miss the important one (John 3:16)

I pray that this year I will be receptive to each and every opportunity God brings my way. I pray that my faith will be stronger and that while I am walking this earthly journey, that I check out all of the blessings....it would be a shame to see a huge stack when I get to Heaven and have Christ say that it was there for me all along.

Every person we meet is in our life for a reason. And hopefully - that in itself is a blessing! It definitely has been for me.

Blessed Christmas 2014   ~ indeed.