Chubbs?

Overcast. Cooling down. Not quite as humid.  Ahhhh. It is an random, ordinary Monday. Well, not so much.  Doing what people generally do in the late afternoon felt normal enough. Then.     Angelic sounding little bleep on the phone.  Text.  Of course I stopped to look.

Roger. Eternity.

And I realized once again that things are not normal - and they never will be again. They will just be different. 23 weeks does not change things but 23 weeks brings change.  As much as we might fight it, change happens.  I strive so much to help them be positive changes in the midst of a great loss though.

This morning I headed to therapy. I actually took the photo and started this post last Monday. ONE WEEK - Same time, same place.  Last week I kind of avoided typing - one finger typing is hard. 

I had started writing about a song on the radio. It played at the appropriate time as I was driving to therapy. Therapy is a positive experience but oh how I dislike the bandages. I have to constantly remind myself to 'push through.'  Roger could always distract me. And say 'Let's eat out!"  

I've had that little tune in my head all week. " You're an overcomer"
Most of the song is about struggles much more challenging than mine, but the message is the same.

Whatever it is you may be going through
I know He's not gonna let it get the best of you

You're an overcomer
Stay in the fight ‘til the final round
You're not going under
‘Cause God is holding you right now
You might be down for a moment
Feeling like it's hopeless
That's when He reminds You
That you're an overcomer
You're an overcomer

And it is true. When I refuse to focus on my arm and how it slows me down, and I focus on "the goodness of God in the land of the living" (I can still hear Bro. Bill saying that!) - then things are always better.

Today my insurance lady helped me with long term care insurance. Man, does that date me!  She is so positive and the funniest thing came up when talking about the fire department.  Turns out that her brother (in law) worked for Orlando when Roger did. Same station.  I did not recall the name but when she talked about his good buddy Leon (Ellsberry) - lightbulb flash! - Leon was one of Roger's groomsmen!  Leon and Paige!  What a small world!   Once again God had led me to someone with a connection to Roger - even though she never knew him.   "Chubbs" - it definitely sounds like a firefighter nickname. I'll have to ask around! 

Personally, I would rather travel somewhere than invest in long term care insurance. With every day that goes by, I find that a desire of my heart is to exit quickly like Roger did. (Rapture preferred) Part of me says - why spend money on this,  part says- think of your children.  

Roger's Lesson:  Live as if this day is your last but plan for a long future.
He said it all the time. 

God will give me clarity and I will be patient.

Today though, I became an overcomer by typing this with one finger.