The afternoon of February 10, I was snatching bandages off my arm as I was grabbing my keys and making my way to the hospital after I got that urgent call - "go to health central now, daddy had a heart attack."
Those are words a mother never wants to hear.
As I found myself driving toward Clermont, my mind and heart were both racing. I passed First and Main. "What were his last thoughts?' We know now that it happened so fast. I can't help but wonder though.
I passed the fire station where Engine 39 lives. What a wonderful group of dedicated firefighters we have in Ocoee. They respond to calls in Windermere. I am thankful for them. They were so fast. They never gave up. The kids and I happened to stop in a few days ago to deliver a gift to a few of those firefighters. They could not make it to the awards ceremony and we had been trying to catch them for over a month. Shift work, you have to catch them on the right day, and then hope they are actually in the station. It is a very busy station. It did not bother me to keep going back because I knew someone needed them more than I did at that moment. It was good though to say thank you face to face. I gave them patches. Firefighters like to exchange patches - rather like we do with Disney pins. Roger had few patches because as we all know, he did not collect stuff. He collected friends and he collected memories. Other than a few 9-11 Fire Department items, he did not have other patches. But the Station 39 firefighters liked their patches. (Thanks, Rick)
I continued my drive to Clermont and with so many thoughts of Roger's last day on this earthly journey flooding my mind, I almost missed the message on the radio. I've pretty much given up talk radio. Too much arguing. Z-88 is not my fav, mostly because I like enunciation and I can't always understand their songs - but, given what Central Florida has to offer, it has been the station that is on most of the time. Background noise - that is what most of the stuff of life is these days.
But "The Z" always says that God directs their song choices and it is always what someone needs at the moment. Most of the music is about seriously tragic life choices and about how God pulls them out and carries them through. In that my life has not been what one would call 'tragic' - it does not always hold my attention.
But sometimes - sometimes a song will come on that just says it all and has enunciation.
In Christ Alone - my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song;
This Cornerstone, this Solid Ground, firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
This was speaking to me for sure! He has been my strength - for years actually, but particularly of late. Oh how I wished I could sing out like the one on the radio.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All, here in the love of Christ I stand.
Verses two and three tell the story - but hang on until the end!
In Christ alone! who took on flesh, Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness, Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died, The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid; Here in the death of Christ I live.
Ah - there are those who understand, but reject. And those who just don't understand, can't fathom this kind of love. Roger knew this kind of love and shared it.
Verse three - the amazing part! And to sing it boldly!
There in the ground His body lay, Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day, Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory, Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -, Bought with the precious blood of Christ.
And then this remarkable thing happened....
Remember - I had been wondering as I passed First and Main - What was he thinking those last steps.....
Maybe this is the answer!
And I belted it out with the musician! I know the words. I know that if Roger had any sense of what was happening and that he had finished his earthly journey, this is what he would have been telling us....
No guilt in life, no fear in death, This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath. Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man, Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home, Here in the power of Christ I'll stand
What a message!
"The Z" was right. God sends the message to the one who needs it.
I knew the answer all along, but it surely is great to get the message loud and clear right when you need it.
These tears, this morning's tears, these were tears of thankfulness.
I'm thankful that Roger made the most important decision of his life many years ago and never turned away from it. I'm thankful that he knew it was important to raise a family with the same eternal hope. Because of the hope we have in Jesus, we will be sad, of course, but it will be momentary in light of eternity. I am thankful that He gives me the strength and grace I need each day, and the promise of eternity. I am thankful that we will all see him again when we each see Jesus.
Roger's Lesson: Oh, I already got it. "Verse #4, Sweetie"
Roger, over and out.
For the moment.
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