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Roger only had a handful of favorite soloists. Ever. I could count them on one hand. For a lifetime. He had specific tastes and like almost everything else in his life, they did not change much, if any, over the years.
This does not discount that there are many different musical styles and tastes vary all over the place. Roger had tolerance for other varieties of music, but it was really easy to tell when something was his favorite.
Music in church these days is different. I grew up in a very formal downtown Baptist church. I can still remember sitting in the 'old sanctuary' and taking it all in. I should look up photos of my childhood church sometime to see if my memories line up at all with the actual architecture of the building. Maybe it was the ambiance. It was on the dark side, rich dark woods, stained glass, even a dome if I recall. It was a sacred place. Reverent was how you behaved. Even as a young child, I somehow knew that! Roger grew up similarly, but in a smaller church. Possibly that affects the type of music you come to embrace. We both loved the old hymns, but more for the richness of the lyrics than the melody, though those old melodies are so very comforting. Roger did not much care for the messing up of the old hymns. He tolerated other worshipers' tastes though.
By the time we met, I was going to a small, but very friendly little (but growing) Baptist church. "The Exciting" First Baptist Church of Pine Hills. Youth choir was fun, but we were challenged and great friendships grew from those times together. We had great leaders to guide us. They prepared us for challenges in life. Many are still friends today. Many are growing older and ever closer to Heaven. This is hard for me. Hard to lose Roger when he was younger than dear leaders, but so hard to think of journeys ending for others as well. Music was central to so much of my younger life, it created a bond that has held all through the years. Maybe that is why I really like the old stuff!
Today's music brought back such a rush of memories. Good times, sad times, challenging times. All were times when God was present and He carried us through in so many different ways. Most days we go about our ways, not really thinking so much of a love so great. Today I thought of the many great loves in my lifetime. All kinds of loves. Roger's love was a special love. But other loves were deep as well. And yet, as meaningful as each might be, they are nothing compared to the love that God has for me. Nothing compared to the love Christ showed for me. Nothing compared to the love I will one day experience in Heaven with Him.
Today was another one of those "Firsts." My first Easter without Roger. Oh, he has had to work his shift on Easter before, indeed, many times before. In recent years, he seemed to pull off time swaps or use vacation days for special times like this, so it has been quite a while since I have had a Resurrection Day celebration without him. Even when he worked, we could talk on that day. Not so today. It is quiet without him. It is just so odd to not have him rejoicing with me and enjoying the great music, or to watch him as he listened to Debbie sing.
And yet, I made myself change my focus this morning. I tried to put myself in Roger's shoes - his golden slippers - and imagine what his Resurrection Day celebration might be like. I am sure that he enjoyed his favorite music. I bet that it was not all jumping around or at unreal decibel levels either. I bet he could understand the words and that the language was deep and rich. I imagine that there was was no dark, rich wood paneling or somber settings. I imagine it was filled with light because he was in the presence of Jesus. What a day it must be for him.
I often like to think of Roger watching over us and approving of our decisions to be positive and keep moving, but today I really wanted to look in on him. I want to know what he is doing and what he is feeling. I know from the depths of my being that life is not over for him. He is more fully alive at this moment than he ever was on this earth. That gives such comfort and peace. But it did not come without a cost. And that cost was the life of Jesus. His Savior. My Savior.
"Under the Blood" has a whole new meaning these days. Our pastor reminded us again today that all of this 'nice talk' about certain life decisions not being really all that important are just a lie.
- Put it off.
- Think of it later.
- Don't want to face it so I'll do something else for now.
- There's really nothing to worry about, everyone goes to Heaven.
- You're a good person, don't worry.
- You were raised in a Christian family, you are safe.
There are so many variations.
Roger would say that it comes down to taking God at His Word...in the Bible of course.
You believe it or you don't, but the decision is yours and yours alone.
But it is a decision that has to be made. By not addressing it and making a decision, you made a decision. How profound is that? !!!
There are not too many things in this lifetime that you have to do fully and totally on your own, but where you spend eternity...that one is yours and yours alone. I made that decision many long years ago, as he did. I can honestly say that I have never looked back, never a regret, best decision of my life. The pastor of my youth used to say, "There are only two really important decisions you need to make in life. #1 is where you will spend eternity. #2 is with whom you will walk this earthly journey" Roger would add that the decision about what to have for dinner was important, but not AS important.
Of course, I am not counting out saying yes to that first date with Roger, of course. It led to a lifetime of joy as well. But something has to be your number one best decision. Jesus is mine.
Roger's Lesson: Well, he is kind of busy today, but he would have said that your first earthly love should really be number two.
And he was a really great Number Two.
Happy Resurrection Day!
Love this post.
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