Back in the early years of our marriage, I used to watch football games with Roger. He did not love it so much because, as he would say, "I answered that question last week."
Ok, honey, sweetie-pie.....
I must have been absent the week they taught football in PE.
Putting myself in charge of the snacks was probably the favorite way he liked me involved in football.
I did love the music and the excitement of the halftime show though. Perhaps the demise of the 'love of football' for me was when they started running commercials over the halftime show. HOW RUDE!
This weekend it hit me how deafeningly quiet it was around here. It hit me that though I might be in the same room with Roger, we really did not have the same interest in what was on that black box on the wall. If he happened to doze off (or, rest his eyes) - I would ask for the remote. "No, I'm watching the game." ....oh, seriously.
And then it hit me that the phone was not ringing and he was not chatting with his good friend, Squint. Boy, they loved to talk football, among other things, but definitely, football. Squint loved UCF. And if he could have talked Roger into going to Dublin for this game, you can bet that I would have found a way to be on the plane with them! I would have even agreed to let them go to the game and have the day for themselves. There is GREAT shopping in Dublin! The folks are so friendly too!
And if Clemson had played this weekend (did they????) then he would have had a chat with the Pastor about the game, and if they won, he would have been wearing his orange (stiffly starched) shirt.
And he would have been cheering with all of my relatives who were at the GA (Dawgs) game, even though I have no clue who they played. I do know that GA played because....yea for FB!
And he would have been feeling David's pain when the UF game was called for lightning. Again - yea for FB? How would I know what anyone was doing without it!
Roger did not care about the pros. He liked college ball, but he did not like stadiums and crowds.
It is interesting the things that you come to understand 'after the fact' when all you did was accept things along the way. That is an interesting thing about hind-sight. I totally understand now that the reason Roger never liked to be in large assembly buildings for "relaxation" was because he never could really relax. Even though he was not officially 'on duty' - in a crowd, he was always 'on duty.' He could not relax because he always wanted to be prepared to be first on the scene for an emergency. He could not brush it off, so he enjoyed his favorite game from his favorite chair - and when she learned to stop asking questions during the game - with his favorite gal.
Perhaps along the way, I came to understand some of that, because I liked sharing time and space with him. It is only now that I totally get it though.
I also get it about the Pros. He liked kids. He liked watching the high school football game of the week' and knew who played what and what to watch for - he could have been a scout, I think. He watched coaches and how they coached their kids, and their values. And he did not necessarily know any of the kids on the teams - but if he did, he kept an eye on how they played.
Only 'after the fact' did I really understand why UGA was his favorite team (even though everyone he knew thought that their team was his team) - and it was because of one coach. Vince Dooley. The man and the way he coached kids - mentored them even. The way he lived. He did have a few coaches that he really respected - I did know that. I did not know it was so important to him though. It was more important than the game itself.
I don't know how many people ever asked Roger who his favorite team was. I bet they all just imagined that it was the same as theirs. I never realized that until now.
And he did not like Pro ball because it was all about money and focus on a few 'key, high profile' players. Interesting. He would watch it but was never passionate about it. ("I can take it or leave it," he would say)
Roger's Lesson: I think that he would say that if you are going to be involved in something as a leader, then lead. Stand for something. Believe in something greater than yourself. Stay humble. Teach younger people something that will sustain them for the long haul. And by all means, show them what faith means to you.
Life is like that in so many ways. You 'get it' after you have lost someone you love and time is passing, or after a tragic event is sometime in the distant past, or after your health has returned some years after a horrible illness.
Understanding. I will never understand the game of football, but I want to understand this game called "life."
Jim will forever ask me "what's the score?" and he will mean the FSU score. Now I will not even be able to make a reasonable guess because I heard Roger talk about it. I will guess a multiple of 7 - maybe.
Ted will forever shake his head in amazement of seeing that "Dawg" on Roger's memory table, and one of my favorite comments from him will continue to be "I don't know whether to hate Roger because he was not a Gator fan or to have more respect for him because he totally supported that I was and I thought he was" You've gotta love his Gator relatives!
Squint will probably go to the phone time and again this season, and realize he has to put it back down. There is a clenching around my heart when I think about it - for I feel that so often.
When I do see something about football in passing this season though, I will think about the coach. I will wonder if he is imparting a wise philosophy on life to his boys. I will wonder if he is teaching them, not only football strategy and skills, but the foundation they need to get through life. I will pray that the coach knows Christ and is teaching these kids something of eternal value. Football can certainly teach you to stay tough and push through til the end. I'm sure there is a lot of other stuff it teaches too, other than just crushing people to the ground for a piece of leather.
And I will pray for those who take a stand and risk the ridicule put out so often these days if they do stop to pray. If prayer offends someone, that is ok. God offends people. Hey, when you need a change in direction and don't want to face up to it, of course you would be offended if confronted with it. It takes a person of strong faith to be able to say "but you offend me if you don't allow me to pray." Sometimes I think Christians are too nice, too passive. Too 'turn the other cheek-y" when there are times that you should not turn the other cheek, you should stand up for your faith.
But I will also pray that football does not consume people, because in America, it seems to do just that. While in France we learned that only 3% of the population attends church. We kept asking why. "Well, there are so many other things you can do - so much entertainment."
Wow. Does that sound like America? No wonder God is not blessing as he once did. So few are carrying the load - starting with prayer.
Maybe that is why Sunday football was not Roger's favorite. That is the pro day, right?
All in all though, it is not the score that matters in eternity. UCF lost in Dublin in the last few seconds, but if those kids, coaches, and fans will think about eternity for just a little bit - and accept that gift of eternal life - in Heaven - with Him - they will see that football is a thing we do on earth, and while it can teach a lot of cool stuff - it is nothing compared to what they will experience in Eternity.
What's the football score? By next weekend, few will remember the Dublin game.
What's the score for eternity?
It has to be personal. No one score your place in Heaven for you. You have to do it yourself.
For me...
Heaven 1 - Earth 0. (Make a note, Jim!)
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