It has been a full day. The drive to Oviedo is always ...long. It did not seem long three years ago, so did the road get longer or was I just used to my daily routine? Routine, I suppose. The car could almost drive itself.
It was meeting time for my overseas travel group and while it still seems a little odd to be planning a European trip, it is the kind of busy project I need right now. It is one of the few things in my life that is still normal. I guess that is good. I'm thankful that the school still welcomes my assistance on the project. I know that God knew way back when I was wrapping up my teaching days that there would be a need and He had a way to fill it. It is comforting really, to know that He has a plan and always has.
It is busy at school, wow, such a busy place. That used to be the way of my life. Busy busy busy. Always another project, always another production, always something that involved getting students prepared for something. But hardly ever quiet. I have come to actually embrace the quiet and the stillness around me. Being still is something that has always been a challenge for me.
The last time I was really still, was when I was flat on my back fighting cancer. I was not too happy about it but I had no choice. God got my attention then about busy-ness. Being busy and doing good works is a great thing. When Christ is the focus of what you are doing...amazing! You don't always feel tired, but when you do, it is a good tired....like you are accomplishing something. Back during those days, I came to find out that really and truly, it is not what you do, but who you are that really matters to Christ. I did a lot of reflecting back then and a lot of it is still carrying me through.
That had to be one of the darkest periods of my life, but I still can see how God carried me through it. The prayers of so many friends who prayed diligently, believed wholeheartedly....oh, I remember!
Tonight I drove home at dusk - I saw a beautiful sunset. As dusk fell, I wondered why people drove without headlights on. That seemed foolish. Foolishness is rather prevalent in this world of ours. How can you see where you are going without the light? Seriously - how can you know where you are headed without the light of Christ leading. Puzzling, but people keep attempting it. Those drivers made me nervous - particularly the ones in my rear view mirror!
By the time I reached home, it was fully dark. I unloaded the car and went back to lock it up. It was cool and quiet outdoors. I heard some little critter with a bird like sound - perhaps an owl. Bats don't make noise, do they? I felt the little baby skeeters and actually hoped for a few bats!
Leaning back on the car, I gazed up at the night sky. I recalled the days when we first moved out her -actually even before we moved out here. We used to lie in the grass and just look up at the night sky. It was really dark out here back in the 70's and 80's. We could see the light of Cinderella's castle in the distance across the lake, but that was the only light near the earth. We could look up at the sky and count the stars. We looked for planets. Of course, there was no space station flying around at the time, but Roger could always spot it once they did put it in the sky.
These days you have to really strain your eyes to see a star. That does not mean that there are fewer stars of course. It means that there is so much ambient light on the earth that you don't have the contrast. Man's light diminishes God's natural light. Interesting, isn't it?
Tonight I was recalling for the travel families about what a small part of the population of France even goes to church anymore, and why. "So many other things to do" they say....yes, we have that problem here too. I think it is even more than that. I think that that man's light is diminishing God's natural light. We have so many distractions that we miss out on the real beauty around us. We are so busy that we miss the stillness.
I would say that this is a pretty dark time in my journey as well. Some days, I just can't seem to get moving. Some days I don't even want to. But I do. Just like I learned during that other dark journey - you get up. You put one foot in front of the other. You think of someone other than yourself and you get moving. And you don't forget to be still every now and then. Sometimes it is in the stillness and aloneness in the car. Sometimes it is just sitting and taking in the beauty around you. And when that happens, a remarkable thing takes place. You see something that you never saw before and often God reminds you of a truth that you don't often think about.
Roger's Lesson: I know he thought my middle name was multi-task and he would often ask if I could just "be still." Hmm....seems like he might have gotten that concept from His Maker.
Maybe I am finally starting to get it.
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