Who would have thought it?

 It has been one of those weeks. Somewhere along my lifetime, I came up with this concept of looking at the 'whole' of things and then backing up to the details of how to get there. Of course, it was not my original concept and I don't even know where I got the idea, but for the most part, it has worked out for me pretty well.

I had not figured this out at age 20, however.  When we were planning a wedding, not once that I ever can recall, did I think to the end of the project. It was "I do! Happily ever after!"    

Even though I was encouraged to take a moment and THINK about marrying a man a decade older than I was, I probably did not, even if I said I did. (Mmybe I did?) 

Not once did I ever see myself walking through this life without Roger. I never saw myself with a Mother's Day without him. I am a mother because of him, after all!

Roger was an 'only child' - yes, I knew about those people. I had friends growing up that were 'onlys.'  A little self absorbed. Wanted what they wanted instantly. Did not always play well with others.   Somehow I forgot all of that when I met Roger.  It never occurred to me that he was an only, even when I met his parents.  I only learned later about how it was just him and his mother for three years while his dad was off fighting for freedom....with General George S. Patton, no less. 

It did not take me too long to realize that because his family was so close and cousins lived nearby, that they were most likely the reason that he was pretty well balanced and not full of himself. Generous, by nature, he always loved to be around people, but he liked his quiet space as well. AHA...that was the 'only' kicking in.  He used to tell me that he could have all of the fun of having siblings to play with and then escape when they drove him nuts. (Sorry, girls!) But they laughed and played A LOT. I could also tell that he grew up in a really fun household, but not one that was a free-for-all.   

Nani was GREAT. And the best part of all was that she was SO ELATED that he was getting married that there was NOTHING WRONG that this old gal could do! Being the daughter in law of an 'only' - at least in my case was the BEST!     Thank you Nani for raising a most wonderful young man! I know you did not do it alone, but you did it well!

Of course, we would never have gotten to this place in my life without my mother. She taught me EVERYTHING.  My sister often says that she was worn out by the time she got to number three....but I disagree. Number 1 was just easier to handle, I am certain! Or perhaps, I just paid attention!   There is something special about that #1 baby, my dad would always say.  I think it is a balance though - parents don't always know what they are doing with #1, so they practice a lot. Thank goodness #2, #3, AND #4 all arrived in a span of about 6 years, so that took a lot of pressure off of me.  

Likely, because she was such a GREAT mother, she did not ask me to tend to the little critters around me too often. Whew!  Or maybe she did and found out that I was not too good at it, or had things like scissors and paint in my hands, or did not stay on task too well.  Anyway....thanks, Mom, for understanding. 
I think my mom was a creative soul down deep - she could sew without a pattern, cook without a recipe, make anything grow....and she was incredibly smart - but did not flaunt those straight A's at us. But she expected a lot. Courtesy. Good manners. She helped us to grow into the people we were meant to be. Great role model!  She left for Heaven far too young but after a very long and lingering decline. I know she has enjoyed the rewards of Heaven all these years, but she did leave me always being drawn to women around me who had those same tender and nurturing qualities. God provided beautifully for me all these years. But I still miss her! Roger always thought she was the sweetest southern lady he had ever met! 

And of course, I can't miss Mother's Day without these two jewels! These are DADDY'S GIRLS! 

It is important to remember that in "Judi's plan for her life" there were no children. There was New York, Broadway (behind the scenes), and world travel.  What was I thinking?  This is one case where I hit the place early on where I asked God to direct my life (before I met Roger) and really had no idea what I was asking for exactly. Innocence - you've got to love it! 

I was married at 21 (more on that tomorrow - Anniversary Day) and had a baby at 23. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!  Talk about being scared and clueless!  They did not have stuff like parenting classes back then. Oh, I read Dr. Spock and thought he was pretty well crazy. Thank goodness for mothers. Thank goodness I had the good sense to look at kids older than my own, that I would like to take home with me...(AKA - Shawn Thompson) and try to figure out how those parents got to the end of parenting without being crazy!  Seriously - a good support system and asking God for guidance really makes a difference.  Of course, DADDY was super involved and 'like-the best dad-eh-ver!" He knew how to have fun and together I think we ended up with some pretty remarkable girls who in my own humble opinion are 'practically perfect in every way'.....thank you for the inspiration, Mary Poppins!  I'd say that our two baby girls are the best gift Roger ever gave me. They still remain the greatest blessings of my life ... and I have a lot of blessings!

Roger's Lesson:  Oh, he would say  "It's just another way that God shows His goodness and mercy to us. We don't have to have all the answers at the beginning of the journey because God has the plan"

And I would say that while we mothers are important in the life of a child, those who made us mothers will have their moments soon.  Redeem the time. The children grow up way too fast!