In so many ways it seems like only yesterday that I met Roger.
God has these incredible ways to bring people together and though I was not really looking to "find" a special someone, there he was, right in the Sears Catalog. Ah...a story that people have been begging me to tell. Actually, it is more accurate to say that he found me in the Sears Catalog, but let's be clear...I was not a mail order bride!
The story begins nigh unto 42 years ago. I was a young college student just itching to make my way in the world by getting my first job. My dad was totally against it, instead saying that my school was my work and that I should focus. College, like it is today, had too many empty hours for me. Studying did not take all that long and there were so many hours in the day! What was a girl to do?
Well, of course, her Pastor knowing the dilemma, knew a church member who also happened to be a store manager of a very safe place to work. This would be important to the father - and would also fill the daughter's need to try that taste of independence. There is NO WAY, I will ever believe I got that job on my own! After all, it required a math test. SERIOUSLY! It had to be my cute red outfit, plus some nice behind the scenes work of a caring Pastor.
Before I knew it, I was signed up as a Sears Roebuck & Co. employee. I was well on my way into profit sharing and that huge $52 a week paycheck!
A floater - indeed, I was. "Floated" from department to department wherever there was a need. Jack of all trades!
Shoe department- oh that was organizational fun! Men's department, children's, housewares and petty quickly, CATALOG. Evidently I was pretty good with the catalog scene, or no one else wanted the job, but there I stayed for a good bit. It was right by the back door, next to automotive, so I got to watch the interesting characters come and go. I am quite sure that NO ONE near the age of my grand children has a clue what it was like to walk into a store and order from a catalog. (Just think Amazon, kids. Only no digital, no wireless, no drop off at the front door.) Catalog ordering was the best in personal assistance! And it was a fun place to work! One day this fella came in and ordered. Then he returned what he ordered, and re-ordered. And returned what he ordered, and re-ordered. This always happened on the day I worked. No one else seemed to be able to assist this fella like I could, so he waited for my work day. I was clueless, of course. (Fast forward to 2014 and we all know that Roger liked to talk to EVERYONE! New face? He had to know more! Lucky me!)
I remember him being interesting to talk to and that he ordered really awful clothing.
Get the idea?
I am sure that fashion was part of the times - but really ...awful. Still gives me shivers
And then one day...
My little Department Manager - she was little - like 5'0" - named Phyllis Mueller, called me in and said, "sit a while, we need to talk."
Was I getting a raise? I was a good little catalog gal!
Oh no! She had to tell me about this fella that kept coming in..."I KNOW - AWFUL CLOTHES!" ...and that he wanted to ask me out...."WHAT? HE IS OLD!" said sweet little me!
"Now now honey, I have known him since he was a little thing and he is just the sweetest...." and on and on. I guess that was the start of older people watching out for me. "Just go for coffee" she said. "I do not drink coffee" I said.
And so, surely enough, he came around again. Oh yes, Roger was his name! I had written it SO MANY times and never even connected that his dad worked right upstairs. In fact, I already knew his dad and his cousin. Sears - a family kind of place! And so he asked me to go for a cup of coffee..."I don't drink coffee" I said...to which he replied....'Well, then let's go for tea!" How do you NOT go out with someone who is so perfectly agreeable?
And such began our meetings. He would come by for lunch and we would head on down to the "Stand and Snack" on Orange Avenue. It was not long before we had the 'real date.' You know, the dress up special kind of thing. And he came to church with me right away...where my girlfriends said 'Are you crazy for dating an OLD GUY!" and he walked in the door and knew half the people in the church. What was this all about? I had to know more. I guess I was hooked by then.
He drove up one afternoon to pick me up at home and my dad saw him 'unfold" out of his corvette. I don't even want to go there. Daddy liked really big tank-like cars, so a tiny corvette made absolutely no sense to him. Never mind that it was cute.
My sisters said "yes-sir" to him. Good grief.
I really did not get that OLD concept people kept referring to after I got to know him, because he really did not seem so OLD. (I was 20, he was 30 ---I know, CRAZY!) He seemed 24.
Time passed and we spent a lot of time together. I worked part time and went to school. He had been on medical leave for a car accident on the way to work. (More about that in another post - something I ONLY found out in February 2014) Yes, he flipped a Corvette - the one he let the astronauts drive up and down the beach. I was clueless about space and firefighters and all that at the time, so that was only a nice work story. He soon went back to work and had the craziest hours, but he was off two full days during the week. Wow...weekday dates! We made day trips all over Florida! And we ate out EVERYWHERE. Little did I know that this was a hobby!
We had a whole lot of fun from July - December 72. Looking back it was a really short time though before he had fallen head over heels in love. It was that green moon at Disney, he would tell me. Our first 'official real date' was to the recently opened Magic Kingdom. He loved the E-Ticket rides and really loved the Peter Pan ride. Flying over the world, forever young....he was a kid at heart but not immature at all like a kid would be. Every time we would fly around that green moon - we would dream. And sometimes we would ride six times in one day!
Christmas arrived and with it, a ring. The wedding would be in May - not a moment before my birthday. He wanted no one to say that he had a child bride, so we waited until I had hit the 'legal' age of 21 before we got married. Birthday on the Saturday the 5th and wedding on Saturday the 12th. We had no reason to factor in Mother's Day! Let's just say that for 40+ years, the gifts just kept on coming in May! Who would have guessed that this 8 day stretch in May would become the most difficult of my life.
I love this photo because it is so....FAKE. Act like you are nervous about all of this, Roger...the photographer requested. Seriously. He knew he had found the love of his life. No sweat! His parents adored me...I mean, how could they not. I think they would have adored ANYONE who captivated this man. They wanted GRANDCHILDREN! I loved his family - including all of those aunts and uncles and cousins, right away.
God was blessing and I was still to young to even recognize it.
Weddings today involve so much elaborate planning and matching everything, and fancy meals, and so much extra fluff. Back in the day, you pulled together matching outfits, picked one of 5 tuxedos, got your shoes dyed, popped some flowers in your hair and had some candles and flowers at the altar. Afterward, you navigated the receiving line, got your punch and butter mints and nuts and if you waited around long enough, some wedding cake. I think throwing rice is outlawed today too. It puffs up and choked a bird or something. Ah...just sweep it up and keep it simple, folks.
Only Roger did have an alternate plan. How about if we don't collect so much stuff, but we do things together all through our lives. With children mostly, without children sometimes. How about if we do the things now that we care about doing. How about if we invest in things of eternal value. How about if people are more important than things. In all of that planning though, we never really talked about life as separate from one another. Oh, he would say he was older and I should do this or that when he was gone, and I would say that I am the one that is always sick so he should stop telling me that stuff. And we would drop that conversation and save it for another day.
Am I glad that we followed his 'alternative' plan? Yes, indeed! For he always ALWAYS believed that God numbered our days and that we should redeem the time we have here. He lived out his parents legacy of doing things with family and doing things with friends. He kept church life central to all that we did together. He loved vacations, as short and as ordinary as they might be. He loved doing things that were familiar. He had enough adventure at work! He led us well and he gave us all of himself while he was here. It makes me feel a little greedy to ask for more.
Yes, in my heart and mind, I will always think it was too short of an earthly journey. I know though, that he ran the race that God planned for him. I'll always see him driving in and unfolding out of that corvette and being all dreamy-eyed and excited about the future. And then - I will think about the wonderful life that that future became. Sitting under the big tree and planning our home, while we worked and saved and lived in an apartment was a special time. Watching two grown men putting together toys and swing sets (Roger and Papa) - and him not having a clue how to assemble anything - still makes me laugh. Trying to get him to drive a newer car (If it was only 10 years old, it was new to him) rather than always getting the new one for me - was a frustrating task, but he always won. Watching a very proud father every time he was with one or both daughters - wow, the joys of his life. Hearing him encourage as Jacob played ball, or taking Emily to dance in her little tutu and enjoying time with them at the ice cream shop is something they will treasure forever. And watching Jim, strong himself, relent and leave his wallet at home rather than argue with Roger, is a wonderful memory because not all men will defer to the old guy, but Jim knew there was something deeper there. And.....chasing after him at Disney because he always had us on a mission to see and do it all, when all I wanted to do was stroll, will remain one of the things that I wish I had been more bossy about. But he kept us together and he kept us moving toward a goal. He loved his family more than we will ever be able to imagine. We all were blessed.
And when I feel that ever present tear, I will call it my showers of blessings and I will thank God for the time we did have here and that at 20 when I was this really clueless young girl, not at all looking for a prince charming....He had one for me all along.
Right there, under my nose, in the Sears Catalog - terrible fashion sense and all.
Roger's Lesson; He would laugh at me and say that Brother Bill meant well - and that indeed, I did have a far better fashion sense that he did. And that at 30, he knew what he had been looking for all of his life. And that he told me that he loved me when he said "I Do" and if he ever changed his mind, he would let me know.
And I will be forever grateful to little Phyllis Mueller, which may be why I tend to listen to little ole ladies even to this very day. They have a wisdom that we don't understand. Hopefully I will acquire that skill before I get to be a little ole lady!
40 years, 8 months, 29 days. This Mrs. has been remarkably blessed.
But ......
I never got him to part with that clip-on tie!
I always loved visiting that sears store to see Uncle George at the tire department. The rear of the store next to your catalog department. Roger was always a joy to be around, I wish we had more time together. Thanks for sharing yours.
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