Gag is what I would recall. I really had to doctor up beanie-weenie before I could eat it.
There were plenty of foods available to us for which we did not have the same appreciation.
Olive Garden - he got the black olives and peppers, I got the tomatoes and lettuce.
Pizza - he got the anchovies (on only HALF the pizza) and the black olives, and the funghi (italian for mushrooms) and I got the normal vegetables. He preferred bell peppers cooked, I liked them raw.
I guess we hardly ever had a meal out where we did not swap something on our plates!
One night over the past weekend we came in so tired, too tired to cook and almost too tired to eat. The grocery store never has been my thing, so staying busy with other things meant that even the most basic of foods were missing from the fridge.
Ah, but Roger had made one of his many trips to the grocery the morning of February 10.
And he came back with hot dogs. I don't like hot dogs. (daddy took us one time to watch a butcher make them - that cured me!) Roger LOVED hot dogs. Actually, I would constantly tell him that if it had enough preservatives, carcinogens, sodium, and fat in it, he would probably eat anything. And he would laugh. "You always need hot dogs and porky beans" he would say. "You never know when you just don't feel like real cooking."
Talk about a plan. And I still had one young lady with me who was channeling her daddy. "Let's have beanie weenie! I LOVE Beanie weenie!" Seriously?!
I diced up the onions, opened the Van Camp's and smelled and savored the beans. I tried to etch into my memory the feel and taste of those beans 'straight from the can.' Roger would eat them that way - elated to eat them that way! They must have brought back some memory of camping with his parents when he was a kid. They liked to fish and camp out. A joy that I never acquired. I think it was a Nani and Roger thing, actually. Papa would say, let's go camp at the Hilton. He could read my mind!
I diced up the dogs - Roger's last purchase and probably the last time dogs will hit my freezer.
I tossed it all in a pan. Oh look....they made a little heart!
Maybe that is a stretch of the imagination, but I see a heart and that is all that matters.
And this time, when I ate my beanie weenie, I savored it. I thought of all the times that Roger was so happy that I made it for him, just because he loved it.
It also made me think about how God tells us that there is a season for everything. Laughter and Crying. Sowing and Reaping, Living and dying.
I guess there is also a season for figuring out how to put it all back together when your other half has departed. I know he is ok. I know he lives in the fullness of joy. If he eats, I imagine he can even get beanie weenie if he wants it.
How to make the most of this earthly life without your other half - now that is the challenge. I know that I'll be ok, because God promised not to leave me alone in all of this. And so far, He has not. I know that He will not.
I am just coming to realize though that even though we were quite independent people, we really were each just have of the whole.
I was the cream to his coffee.
He was the sugar to my tea.
Roger's Lesson: Anything really important takes two parts. Two equals to make a whole.
He would so often say that there are many ways to achieve a goal, but only one way to achieve the most important one. To make it to Heaven. To get there it takes only two parts and one decision. One individual + One Savior, Jesus Christ. And the decision to accept His invitation to spend eternity with him.
We were both on the same page with that decision! He just got there before me, but Lord willing, we'll see Jesus returning in the clouds before too long. (The hope of generations! )
The next time I see beenie-weenie, I'm going to think of the feast in Heaven and wonder if Roger has found anything better than beenie-weenie on the table.
And I remember the look on his face when his plateful arrived at the table, and I will have a warm feeling all over, and I will laugh.
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