One Year

February 10, 2015

I would say that he should be 72 - except that I accept that God's ways are perfect, so stepping into eternity at 71 years and 24 days was God's perfect timing.

Roger's last birthday was a fun time. Birthdays always were.  Only time would reveal that something that Kristin's family did on "Roro's birthday weekend" would have an impact a year later.  He loved that they went camping, and he loved that they celebrated his birthday before camping.  And nothing made him happier than his grandchildren.


How do you miss someone so much?   42 years is a long time - how much harder it must be when you have been together, 50, 60 or more.

It is midnight.  I hit the deadline.  I got my blogging caught up before then end of 'The Year."

It is a fresh start.

Today we will remember all that we set before us one year ago today.

We said that we would keep laughing. We did.
We said that we would stay positive and let God get us through this. We did.
We said that we would not forget the great life we had together. We have not.

Oh sure, there have been tears. Lots of them. We came to realize though that they were tears of our sadness, our grief, our loss. Not tears of Roger roaming in eternity, or destined for the vast unknown. We know where he is and that he is whole and happy and would not come back even if he could.

All in all though, I know he would be so proud of his children and grandchildren. Kristin, Karin, Jim, Jacob and Emily have been stronger and achieved more than they probably ever imagined they would. Jacob is an amazing young middle school man and such a blessing - every single day.  Emily keeps us laughing. She is not afraid of anything and has accepted her loss most graciously. He would be so proud of his little girl - his mini-Kristin.  He invested well.

The writing - blogging - has helped me a lot. I am happy to have recorded a year of memories that I was so terrified that I would forget. Of course, there is so much more. There always will be, but to be able to leave my thoughts for my children - hopefully that will bless them as much as it has helped me to journey through a really great loss.

Today I will be praying for and thanking God for the people who made Roger's life so much richer than it might have been without them.

I will think of his co-workers and dear friends at KSC. All those guys that he called 'darlin' and 'sweetie' - it is still funny - and it surely leaves a certain silence for them - still. They meant so much to him. The fire department is a true 'brotherhood' - much like church, they watch out for one another - most have similar values and all have a heart for service.

I will think of neighbors who just knew him as Roger in the swing, but not a whole lot about his totally interesting life, because he wanted to know about them - not talk about himself. He loved his little community and the people in it.

I will think of friends from church who have been in our lives for oh so many years.  He immediately started joining me at my church when we first began dating. He never looked back. That was his habit - not spending time looking back. Always forward. Always something new to experience.  It is pretty special to have friends with same values and the same eternal destiny. Near or far, they are never forgotten.

I will think of family who loved him dearly. Some longer than others. He had a whole lot of cousins - girls under-foot he would say - but oh how he loved them.  He would say that being an only child was great because he could escape when he got tired of them.  I doubt that he ever really got tired of his crazy cousins, but it made a good story. And good stories - he was full of them.

I will think of those first responders who answered the call that Monday afternoon. They were just doing their job, but they took such good care of him. They never stopped trying to revive him, even though they surely knew that his departure was instant. Such compassion.

Yes, today I will think of others who made Roger's life richer. He had 71 years of rich living. His living involved people and not things.

Task oriented person that I am, shy and introverted - I wonder if I will ever get it.

Time may - or may not - be short. I sure hope I get it!

Roger's Lesson:   He never liked all the fuss about birthdays, but did like the food. He would tell me not to make a fuss and that he is on birthday #1 in eternity and those years are never going to end. 

And I know he is right.
God's ways, God's timing
Perfect

He did say, after all, that death will not win.