Words and Hugs

Sixteen days into this 'new normal' and it was actually a very good day. The 'firsts' are always hard, so the 'first time' I returned to TMA  http://mastersacademy.org  was bound to be emotional. I mean, the great friends I have over there have laughed and cried together for years and the bonds are strong. 

It was probably the first time I had EVER made that long drive over in silence. I thought of the days when TMA was 'born'...oh that vision, and Roger totally supported it. It was really the vast unknown we were venturing into.  In many ways 'she' is like another child to us, so I will never stop caring about the people and students over there, even though I don't see them often anymore. I thought of all the activities with our girls 'back in the day'...with rented facilities and portable classrooms, moving with Tiger Dan, and how we all pitched in to get any job done, even janitorial and landscaping. 

I thought of times when we moved to the new campus in Oviedo. Our girls had graduated by that time, but Roger was still there ~ driving band trucks, moving stage sets after shows, loading or unloading my art displays ~ and as I heard today, encouraging at least one very special coach when his basketball teams were up against all but impossible odds.   "Roger would tell me that we could do it, this is possible, get out and take control....and I would walk away feeling great, as if this really was possible."   (or something to that effect, if it wasn't the exact quote)    And though I heard similar wonderful stories over the past couple of weeks, for some reason, today I was out of some of the numbness and shock and actually caught the look of reminiscing...almost as if he were there talking with Roger at the time. It was very special for me. 

Tracy met me as I arrived on campus. Nice surprise, because she did not know I was coming. She welcomed me into her special club...what?  Oh, those who have lost a loved one instantly and unexpectedly. Tracy knows. She has lived it and she came out on the other side positive and encouraging and always knowing that God is in control. I thank God that he put Tracy in my life...and I am thankful for that day that she asked if I had ever painted black skin and challenged me to do it. Through it, I challenged myself and achieved something I had always wanted to do, and had the great privilege of painting a portrait of a godly man who served our country well.  
Tracy is not the only person I know with a similar experience, but she is my TMA gal! 

Friend after friend showed concern, and maybe even shock that I was upright. Words just flowed with encouragement and care. It means so much, what words and a hug can do.  And students, oh my goodness, precious students!  This is hard for most people because death is not a great subject to be talking about. But students - aren't they just too young to have to be dealing with this subject? Unfortunately, no.  How do you handle it? What do you say? 
Hey...I have certainly been there...better to say nothing than to say something wrong....well, not really. I would say...better to offer a smile, a greeting, a hug, and say nothing...or say anything.  Platitudes, no, but just knowing that you care...just, wow.   I will be different from now on,  at least I hope I will.

I knew that hugs and endorphins went together so I did a little checking. Some people have an aversion to hugging. Some people like that 'hula hoop of personal space' around them. Some people are all about hugs - they must be super tactile. Now, for students, I see a need for the 6 inch rule - young hormones and all - but for most people, hugs are pretty healthy. Check this out...

THE BENEFITS OF HUGGING
-More upbeat moods
-Reduces Heart Stress, lower heart rate, creates a calming effect. 
-Lowers blood pressure
-Increase nerve activity
-Reduce levels of cortisol(stress hormone) if longer than 20 sec.
-Increases feelings of security, trust, healing, self worth, happiness and appreciation
-Increase levels of oxytocin, reduces cortisol
-Boosts the immune system, stimulates the nervous system.
-Builds self esteem
-Alleviates tension and releases endorphins
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-It is portable and does not cost a thing! 

So...how does hugging make you feel? How often o you hug someone? How often does someone hug you?

Well, I had well more than the crave level of 13 hugs today. And today was a VERY GOOD DAY!

If you haven't hugged someone today, why not try now for at least 10 seconds
And then double that tomorrow.

Side hugs are ok too!