My Shield, My Protector

My reward? My message? We are having fun with these little shield pennies. Interestingly, even though they have been out for a few years, I had never noticed one until around the first week of February. Perhaps it was because I got a shiny penny in a handful of change that I even noticed it. In fact, I set it aside so that I could show it to Roger and ask if it was a real penny. 

Roger always picked up coins and looked at them. He loved it when he was surprised with a bicentennial quarter. Greatest treasure ever!  And wheat pennies... you can't forget to save those!  I always got a laugh out of his delight in finding these random things. When I would bring either one home, his delight was so much fun to watch! It just made his day.  Funny how something so simple can 'make your day."

I never did get to ask Roger about the shield penny and when life changed on February 10th, I honestly did not even think of it again.  When we made that really tough, first trip out to the Magic Kingdom and decided to stop in the Emporium to buy a special Disney Pin for our collection, Karin saw a penny on the floor and Emily picked it up. It was a shield penny. When they showed it to me,  the memory of my penny came back and we decided right then and there that a shield penny would be our special treasure. Maybe Roger was affirming that we did the right thing by taking that first Disney step.

Over the course of the next weeks, shield pennies showed up at random times. My little red jar has quite a little collection now. Daddy always saved heads up pennies. It was the only one he would ever pick up...heads up....after my mom died. He had a jar filled with them sitting inside his roll top desk. I never knew about them and never asked about them...I found them 'after.'

But we enjoy talking about our shield pennies. Affirmation, we call them. On the right track. Processing grief and using it in a positive way for our life journey. 

Why the shield? Well, Roger always wore one, at least from the time I met him. He wore that badge (or shield) of honor that is worn by a firefighter. He served and he protected. He did that in many ways even when he was not on duty as a firefighter.  He protected our family, guarded our values, stood in the gap between us and anything that would harm us. That is part of the great loss, I think. He was tangible. We could see him, feel him, listen to him. 

He wanted us to be safe, and secure. He showed us what it was like to have a protector.  I miss that a whole lot and often find myself wondering if I am going to be able to stand in the gap for my family as effectively as he did.  I know it will be different, but I also know that I love my family as much as he did! 

Rogers Lesson?  I think it might come from Romans 8. God is the great protector and provider. 

For I am persuaded that NEITHER DEATH nor life, nor angels
nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
nor height, nor depth, nor any creature
shall ever be able
to separate me from the love of God 
which is in Christ Jesus, our Lord. 

I believe Roger was here, at least in part, to show us how God protects. He is our shield. He was Roger's shield. He did not trust in a badge (shield), he trusted in God through Christ as his shield and protector. And he certainly was protected. Other than the corvette wreck, he never had a single fire related injury in over 52 years of service. 

I'll treasure those shield pennies and think of Roger's affirmations any time I get one. Right after dropping off the taxes and chatting a while with my perfectly precious CPA, I picked up a shield penny. We were supposed to be doing that together on the morning of February 11, but I'm just going to say that Roger was affirming that I got the job done and left the office happy/joyful rather than as a crying/blubbering mess.  (Thanks Mike!)   Affirmations. Yep, they make a difference!